1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say could be better.
This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of
weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until
she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man
you are).
3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over.
Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if shes sleeping. If
she is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until
morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might
be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal
improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then
when shes sleeping, steal all her small things and break them,
because jewelry is for pussies.
7. If youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When
she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words F**K you and grab
the other girls ass. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her youre taking her out to dinner. Drive for mile so she
thinks its going to be really special. Then take her to a burning
tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just
kidding and now youre really going to take her to dinner. Then
drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do
something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her
ear
because I can.
9. Introduce her to your friends as some chick. Women love those
special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
