A Paddy walking through a field sees a man drinking water from a
pool with his hand.
The Paddy shouts 'Na ol an t-uisce, ta sé lan de chac bo' (Don't
drink the water, it's full of cowshit.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, speak English, I don't understand
you'.
The Paddy shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'