Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was
already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in
my bedroom?"
The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom, and I"m St
Peter".
Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so
much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.you've got to
send me back Straight away". St Peter replied "Yes, you can be
reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a
dog or a hen." Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm
not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash
of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt
this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster
strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying
your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have
this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode". You're
ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid
an egg before".
"Never" replies Brian "Well just relax and let it happen"
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg
pops out from under his tail. An immense! feeling of relief swept
over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced
motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the
feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being
reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him
ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg
he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his
wife shouting.
"Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, you've sh!t in the bed"
