FISHERMAN
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish.
Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of
motorboat.
SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine
article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is
now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses!
Has own house, car and successful career!
ECONOMIST
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my requirements
are high. However the Elasticity of my demands should not bear too
heavy a burden upon the national interest.
MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate
and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further
my family unit.
IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed
of my current flows of information and processes is slowing down
and the injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve
efficiency. Compatibility could be an issue.
BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.
POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live,
to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past
differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need
someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and
bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society................. (etc etc and never getting to the
point)
CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in
excellent working condition.
FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the
post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should
be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with
evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should
be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord
i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be
sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null
and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind
whatsoever.
PILOT
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed
applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her
feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long
haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically
sound!!!
BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her
service.
ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head for
figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and
her very nature should be one of generating as few expenses in my
life as possible. She should profit from a nice personality and be
a credit to her family.
MINICAB DRIVER
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm calling from
base, erm a wife is needed for pick me up. Driving license not
necessary, but map reading skills are a bonus.
BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must
be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground
up.
DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However
if you feel the need for a second opinion then it's fine by
me.
ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful
applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who
dares wins. Camouflage provided.
RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life. Must be
able to keep pace!
ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to
share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!
