There was once a Scotsman and an Englishman who lived next door
to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning would look
in his garden and pick up one of his hens eggs for breakfast. One
day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg
in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he
saw the Englishman pick up the egg.
The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg
belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed
because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, In my
family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: "I kick
you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up,
then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to
get up, whomever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Englishman
agreed to this and so the Scotsman found his heaviest pair of boots
and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the
Englishman and kicked as hard as he could right between his
legs.
The Englishman fell to the floor clutching himself and howling in
agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now its my turn to
kick you."
The Scotsman said, "Keep the damn egg."
