Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had
been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk
and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee.
They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do
their business behind a headstone or something.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her
panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was
wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers,
but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that
was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After
finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and
said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came
home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the
other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the
cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station,
We'll never forget you!'