Dont know if these were posted before. Anyway, enjoy..
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like
dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What
are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket
and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a
beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store
but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a
stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy
replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the
cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I
could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on
his way without a ticket.
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
that reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is
right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are
backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
