There was another funny one on Marriage but here's another.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her. Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they
just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Hemant
Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving
them. Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is
"What does a woman want? Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to
go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner,
soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. " Henry
Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. " Sam
Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage. " James Holt
McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and
the second one didn't. " Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're
wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to
forget it once... Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. Henny
Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney
Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Milton
Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day
he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You
can have mine. Anonymous