A
helpful analogy for the homosexuality issue can perhaps be that of
wearing braces for those who have crooked teeth.
But before I go on with the analogy of the braces, let me first
elaborate on homosexuality. Homosexuality is considered to be a
form of developmental disorder. Both biological predispositions and
environmental factors contribute to the emergence of homosexuality.
As the name “developmental disorder” implies, the homosexual’s
development from childhood through adolescence may not follow the
trajectory and norms as others have, and therefore causing
homosexual tendencies and desires.
But what do I mean by “biological predispositions”? During
pregnancy, the mother may slip and fall and any physical trauma to
the womb may induce a higher proportion of female hormones to enter
the foetus, leading to a “feminised brain” in the male child. This
is suggested to cause the pre-homosexual boy to have certain
feminine traits, though not necessarily growing up to be effeminate
or “sissy”. Of course other “biological predispositions” such as
character, personality, and temperament also influence how the
homosexual turns out to be — perhaps he is born sensitive, not so
athletic and is good at art etc.
Environmental factors often work together with biological
predispositions in the emergence of homosexuality. The sensitive,
artistic boy who does not like sports may not have many male
friends. Females tend to be more receptive to the pre-homosexual
boy and he finds himself accepted more amongst girls rather boys.
Perhaps the pre-homosexual boy may also come from a family where
the father is physically absent or emotionally distant. He does not
have an older male figure to be a positive role model for his
masculinity and he is also brought up and nurtured by a dominating
mother who spends much time with him.
Some psychologists would call homosexuality as a gender inferiority
complex or masculinity inferiority complex. Having said this, I am
not suggesting that homosexuals are necessarily effeminate or
“sissy”. It is just that homosexuals were not affirmed or approved
as masculine boys when they were young. During their childhood
and/or adolescence, homosexuals were not nurtured to feel confident
of their masculinity, that they could ever meet the expectations or
standard of being a “man”.
Why homosexuals fall in love with other men is because legitimate
emotional needs they had during their formative years were not met.
In other words, these emotional needs to bond with other males have
become eroticised after puberty. These sexualised emotional needs
now become lust for other men. Homosexuals yearn and long and crave
for the love of other men to “fill the void” inside them.
Homosexuals tend to be attracted to athletic, cheerful,
good-looking, popular straight men because subconsciously the
homosexuals wish they are like these straight men. This serves as
the basis of homosexual attraction.
Homosexuals are not gays because homosexuality in its traditional
sense of the word has always been understood to refer to behaviour
or inclination. Gay is an identity. It is politicised and
ideologically driven to represent a subculture. In other words,
being gay is a choice and we need to always be discerning that
NOBODY is born a gay. Whether a person is born to have homosexual
thoughts and feelings is much more debatable and allows room for
discussion. But just because a person experiences homosexual
tendencies or desires does not necessarily mean that he must
identify himself as a gay. Such labelling or categorisation traps
or imprisons a person who is confused over his sexual
orientation.
Back to the analogy of the braces. Some are born with smaller jaws
than others and therefore they may grow up to have overcrowded
teeth. Dentists would encourage parents to let their children wear
braces. It is not out of vanity that children or teenagers wear
braces. Of course wearing braces would make a person look better,
but more importantly braces help to align the teeth so that
the person will be able to chew food properly and have better oral
hygiene etc.
In a sense, depending on how a person look at it, this issue
of wearing braces has both biological and environmental factors. A
person is born with smaller jaws than others — this is genetic. But
what about the environmental factor? The child whose parents
are ignorant and disallows him to wear braces or are too poor to
afford braces may mean that the child who has overcrowded teeth
will not be able to align his teeth. This may cause him not to be
able to chew his food properly and he may also experience
difficulties maintaining oral hygiene when he grows up.
Of course, nobody in this world is perfect, and this includes
teeth. People may have charming, sparkling smiles but it does not
mean their teeth are necessarily perfectly aligned. Yet, if
overcrowded teeth is a problem, then all of us will agree that
wearing braces is good for the child or teenager. And if the
person, for whatever reason, is unable to wear braces, then we
should encourage him to do so and help him to have access to dental
treatment in order to wear braces.
So the issue of overcrowded, crooked teeth and wearing braces has
both biological and environmental factors. Similarly, there are
also biological and environmental factors which contribute to the
emergence of homosexuality.
When a person experiences homosexual thoughts and feelings, this is
due to years of biological predispositions and environmental
influences. In a sense, the emergence of homosexuality is “silent”.
We know about the sunrise because we see sunlight falling on our
eyes. But by the time we see the sunlight, the sunrise is already
over. In other words, we can never see the sun actually rising.
Because homosexuality is a developmental disorder, or as some
psychologists would describe as masculinity inferiority complex, it
is not a fixed, rigid condition that can never be changed. The
basis of homosexuality is EMOTIONAL DEFICIT which occurs over time
during the person’s formative years. In other words, nobody is born
a gay. Homosexuality is a process which takes place over time
during childhood and adolescence.
The risk of saying all of these is to pathologise homosexuality.
That is, I hope I do not make homosexuality sound like some sort of
disease or disability. But if we agree with the analogy of wearing
braces, then the problem of overcrowded, crooked teeth due to
small jaws is similar to a person who is born with certain
character and personality traits who is more predisposed to be
emotionally sensitive etc. And as for the parents who are ignorant
and not well educated and disallows the child to wear braces or for
the parents who are poor and cannot afford dental treatment, can be
seen to be like the pre-homosexual boy who was never nurtured by
his father (or any male role model) to be masculine, who did not
have many male friends, and who spent most of his time with the
mother. This is what I think about the analogy of wearing braces
and how it runs parallel to the issue of homosexuality.
So the question really is — why is homosexuality “wrong” or “bad”?
And why encourage homosexuals to change?
It is certainly not wrong for a person to
have crooked teeth (and quite subjective here, too, since
nobody has perfect teeth anyway…). But is it necessarily good? It
is not wrong, but it may be bad. A person who cannot have a
confident smile may feel inferior to others. Or a person who
is not wearing braces may not be able to chew food properly and may
have difficulties with oral hygiene. So, it may be good that a
person wear braces after all since there are compelling benefits in
the long run.
Is it wrong or bad to be a homosexual? It is difficulty to address
this without going into religion and morals. But since
homosexuality is a developmental disorder and masculinity
inferiority complex, perhaps we need to encourage the person to
overcome his homosexual thoughts and feelings and become more
“normal”. (Once again, what is “normal” exactly?)
Homosexual tendencies or feelings are not “normal” since they are
symptoms of something which has gone wrong. The person SHOULD be
heterosexual, not homosexual or bisexual. But because of certain
biological predispositions or environmental factors, the child is
unable to develop “normally”. Similarly for the child who has
smaller jaws than others, his teeth becomes crooked because they
are overcrowded. But if the parents do not allow or afford braces,
his teeth cannot develop normally. I see crooked
sexuality and crooked teeth as “developmental disorders” in
the sense that their development did not go the right way. Their
development was “arrested” or deviant.
For the person who has overcrowded and crooked teeth, there is help
and hope to have a good smile and good oral hygiene. Braces
are available. So similarly, there is help and hope to
change, for the homosexual who is not contented with his unwanted
homosexual tendencies and desires to overcome his struggles.
Now, what is wrong with the gay identity and gay culture then?
The gay identity and culture is a social construct. There is
nothing inherent or intrinsically “gay” about it. How it all
started was due to the Stonewall riots where homosexuals rebelled
against the police to hold their parade in the 1960s. This was how
the modern gay identity and culture emerged. Despite the fact that
homosexuality had always existed in history and how homosexuality
may even be prevalent in ancient China and classical Greece, there
was never anything gay in history. Gay is a 20th century
invention.
Can you imagine people who have overcrowded and crooked teeth being
proud of their identity and refused to wear braces? Of course there
is absolutely nothing wrong with crooked teeth. It is your choice
to not wear braces. BUT can you imagine these people creating an
identity for themselves? Perhaps they may call themselves the
Crooked (because of their crooked teeth). They start going around
telling parents that they should not make their children wear
braces. These Crooked activists begin asserting their rights to
have Crooked parades on the streets to flaunt their crooked
teeth.
These Crooked teeth people have created an identity and culture out
of their crooked teeth. From crooked (with a small ‘c’) to Crooked
(with a capitalised ‘C’). They wear clothes in a certain fashion,
they behave in a certain manner. They hold parades to exhibit their
crooked teeth. They are against all parents who make
their children to wear braces. These Crooked teeth activists accuse
parents of being narrow minded and discriminatory. They advocate
that children and teenagers should have the freedom to exercise
their rights to make decisions on their own whether to have crooked
or straight teeth. These Crooked teeth activists claim that anybody
who thinks that chewing food properly and having good oral hygiene
are prejudiced against people who have crooked teeth. They insist
that people with smaller jaws to have the liberty to choose whether
to wear braces or not.
Of course people who have crooked teeth must be able to choose and
make decisions for themselves whether they want to wear braces or
not.
But what I am trying to illustrate is how these imaginary Crooked
teeth activists are like the gays. Crooked teeth activists must
“convert” all who have crooked teeth to be Crooked. Similarly, gays
must “convert” all who experience homosexual thoughts and feelings
to be gay. The gays say, “If you like boys, you MUST be gay.” The
gays say, “Your homosexual tendencies or desires mean that you are
born a gay.”
Well, all of the above is not true.
Even straight teenagers and youths may experience homoerotic
thoughts or feelings, and they may even engage in homosexual acts
with other men, but it does not mean that they are gays. It does
not even necessarily mean they are homosexuals!
So let us be aware of what homosexuality is and what being gay
means. Let us be conscious of the fact that if a person who has
homosexual tendencies and desires, we should always encourage him
to change, to offer him help and hope that overcoming his
homosexual struggles is possible, just as we would encourage a
child or teenager who has crooked teeth to wear braces.