Ah Lian asked shopkeeper, "Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to
knee, boh?"
Ah Chek replied, "Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist)
only,
where got up to the 'nee'(brea$t) one?"
==================================================================
Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lian's place to
show it to her.
So there Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car
to his girlfriend.
"This is ah, so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!"
"Ha! Really ah!!! Steady lah!" said Ah Lian.
"Some more hor, this is Automatic one, vely easy to drive!"
So Ah Lian said, "Let me try! I wan, I wan!"
So Ah Lian took the driver's seat and shifted the gear and
floored
the accelerator.
The next moment, the car sped backwards and crashed into the
lamp-post.
"Alamak! What u doing? U Siao Char Bo! U see lah! Wah Piang
eh!"
screamed Ah Beng.
"Solee, solee, pai sah lah! No lah, I tot hor, "R" for racing
mah!"
==================================================================
The Titanic was sinking and there weren't enough lifeboats.
So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the
icy
water to make room for women and children.
To the British he said, "You must act like gentlemen." They
jumped.
To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.
To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.
To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.
Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he
came up
with the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped."
==================================================================
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge
and
wanted the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti"
(In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread).
The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them
to
re-select another song.
The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a big fuss claiming the
DJ
was insulting them.
The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down.
Finally after a long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out
that
they were actually asking for the song "Unchained Melody" by the
Righteous
Brothers.
==================================================================
One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and
wanted
to get down to the ground floor.
As they looked at the dial, they could see the number 20 down to
number 2.
It was then followed by a G.
As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and had no
idea
what does the letter G mean.
Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G.
When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was
so
impressed and asked the first Ah Lian,"Wah low!!! How you know
one?"
The first Ah Lian replied smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero
mah..."
==================================================================
One day, there were an American, one Italian, a Singaporean
and
Bangladeshi traveled around on a private helicopter.
After about one hour of travelling, the American took out his
cigarette
(Dunhill), lighted it up and started smoking after two sip, he
threw
the balance of the cigarette.
The other three persons were surprised and asked
"Why didn't you finish-up the cigarette before throwing?"
He replied arrogantly, "There is a lot of cigarettes in my
country."
Half an hour later, the Italian took out a bottle of branded
perfume
and applied on him and the rest he threw out of the window.
The other three persons were surprised and asked,
"Why did you throw away the perfume?"
The Italian replied also, "There is a lot of perfume in my
country."
The Singaporean didn't know what to do & suddenly pushed
that
Bangladeshi out of the helicopter.
The other two persons shouted crazyly, "Why did you push
him !?"
The Singaporean said slowly, "There is a lot of Bangladeshi in my
country!"
Everybody kept quiet and stayed away from the Singaporean.
