Netbuzz

Unidentified SG

This is a intresting little article can be found it The Newspaper , should be considered as humour ba , anyway hope u have a great time here Mr. Green

Unidentified SG

The Naked Truth

A MAN comes home early from work one day. He hears weired sound comming from his bedroom.

When he get to his room, he finds his wife naked on the bed perspiring

"What the hell is going on?" he asks.

She says:"Im having a heart attack"

So the man runs downstair, pick up his phone and dial 911.

But as he is doing so, his 4-years-old son comes running up to him and said:"Dad, uncle Tommy is upstairs, hiding in your closet.And he's naked."

So the man slams down the phone and runs upstair to find his own brother in the closet.

The man then says:"What the hell are you doing?"

"My wife is having heart attack and you're here running around naked, scaring the kids?"

"You should be ashamed of yourself!"

--spotted by Genevieve Jiang

Unidentified SG

Math Is Interesting

Take a look at these mathematical equation:

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + Smart woman = Romance
Smart man + Dumb woman = Affair
Dumb man + Smart woman = Marriage
Dumb man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit
Smart boss + Dumb employee = Production
Dumb boss + Smart employee = Promotion
Dumb boss + Dumb employee = Overtime

SHOPPING MATH
a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she diesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATION
A woman worries about her future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A sucessful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend.
A sucessful woman is one who can find such a man

--spotted by Bryna Sim

Unidentified SG

The Difference Between Man and Women

* Women always buy one size small to show everything. Men alway buy one
size larger to hide everything

*Women are always cool and calm during a crisis.

A little boy ran down breathlessy to his apartment and shouted:"Mother!Mother!Father just fell off the roof"
The mother calmly replied:"Yes, I know dear.I saw him pass the window.

*Men too are often cool and calm in a crisis.

One fine morning, the maid came running to her employer and cried:"Master, master, your wife has just drop dead on the floor."
The master coolly replied:"Then prepare one meal only"

*A sucessful man is one who can earn more money than his wife can possible spend.
A sucessfull women is one who can find that ma

--spotted by Zaihan Mohamed Yusof

rathcycle SG

Originally posted by Unidentified:
A sucessful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend.
A sucessful woman is one who can find such a man

I rather be a successful women then...

Unidentified SG

Words of wisdom for the workplace

Corporate Lesson 1

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A smallrabbit saw the crow and asked him:"can i also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow said "Sure, why not"

So the rabbit sat and rested.

All of sudden a fox appreared.It jump on the rabbit and ate it

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,you must be sitting very very high up.

Corporate Lesson 2

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to get to the top of that tree,"sighed the turkey."But i haven't got the energy"

The bull replied:"Well, why dont you pnibble on my dropping?They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey peck on a limp of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the trees

The next day, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally, after a fortnight, he perched proudly at the top of the tree.Soon, a farmer spotted and shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there

spotted by Tan Mae Lynn

Unidentified SG

Words of Wisdom

1. It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised it burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. Light travels faster than sound.This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

4. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

5. Never walk into an antique store and ask the clerk:"What's new?"

6. When everything's comming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

7. When I'm not in my right mind , my left mind get pretty crowded.

8. Everyone has a photopraphic memory. Some dont have flim.

9. Shin: a device for finding funiture in the dark

10. Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

11. The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

12. Change is inevitable... except from vending machines

spotted by Tan May Ping

Gordonator SG

ok, here's a +1 for you effort. Laughing