Three
Wishes
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way
to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder
lamp.
They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally,
one is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish
each"
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want
to be in
the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff, and he
was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to
be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.
"Pfufffff, and
he was also gone.
The boss calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the office
after
lunch at 12.35pm"
Lesson No 1: "Always allow the bosses to speak
first"
Understanding Boss's
Instruction
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen,"
said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and
my
secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly,"
said the
young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and
pressed
the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his
paper
disappeared inside the shredder machine. "I just need one
copy."
Lesson 2: Never, never assume that your BOSS knows
everything.
Converstion Between An
American & A Japanese
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to
LA when
the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese
are you?"
The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what
you
mean."
The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?"
Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American,
now
irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you ... Are you a
Chinese,
Japanese, Vietnamese!,etc......???"
The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese."
A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked What
kind of
'key' was he.
The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of
'-kee' am
I?!"
The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
Lesson 3: Mind your language.
Pool of
Wishes
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a
French, who
found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a
genie
appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle, He
said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of
You a wish.
When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you
Want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come
true."
The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and
shouted
"WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The
Frenchman was
so happy swimming and drinking from the pool.
Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA"
and
immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so
contented
with his beer pool.
The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when
Suddenly he
steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and
shouted,
SH*T!!!!!!!........."
Lesson 4: Think twice before you say something,
because sometimes accidents do happen
