A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts
jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the
bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then
jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his
mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey
just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off
my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats
everything in sight, the little jerk. I'll pay for the cue ball and
stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with
him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino
cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it
out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
"Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up
his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.
"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue
ball he measures everything first!"
