Man and Woman
A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it
myself,"
lets her.
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do
it
myself," and he lets her, gets mad.
A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do
it
myself," and he lets her and she get mad, says, "Now what are you
mad
about?".
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do
it
myself," and he lets her and she get mad, and he says, "Now what
are mad
about?" says "If you don't know why Im mad at you I'm not going to
tell
you."
Men
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no
money.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think
we are
only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual
don't
think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat
nice
and have money are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some
money and
thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST
MOVE!!!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest
on us
when we take the initiative.
NOW... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
For Women Only
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel
with
a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without
their
boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works.
"We
have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you
are
looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each
floor has a sign
telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All
the
men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and
without
hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short
and
handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue
on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here
are
tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two
floors
left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is
perfect:
"All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited
and
are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left.
Wondering
what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This
floor
was built only to prove that there is no way to please a
woman."
Footnote: Hope there is no debate about
homosexual here in regard to the second joke. These jokes are not
written by me lo. Enjoy. 