New York Declares Itself First Gay City
By Chris Davis
MichNews.com
Jan 5, 2006
SATIRE
New YorkIn a brash, yet diverse move, New York has declared itself
the first gay city in the United States, electing Wednesday, its
first woman and first openly gay leader, a position widely regarded
as the second-most powerful seat in city government.
Christine Quinn wept several times during a passionate speech to
the 51-member council, thanking her father and her partner, Kim
Catullo, who looked on from the audience, making New York the most
diverse city in America.
Let me say that I am incredibly proud that in the most diverse
city in the world, diversity is seen as a strength, and not an
impediment, Quinn said. You wont find a gayer city in America.
Say what you will about San Francisco, but they just marry them, we
elect them here in New York. So start spreading the news!
Quinn, 39, a Democrat, was elected by a vote of 50 to 0, with one
member abstaining in protest of what he said is an openly gay
process of electing the speaker. Other council members had sought
the job, but Quinn became a virtual lock because she was gay and
fit the perfect image for New York City.
Quinn is reportedly one of 350 openly gay politicians serving in
all levels of government nationwide, according to the Gay and
Lesbian Victory Fund, an organization that advocates for gay
candidates.
That number of gays in public office was just 41 in 1991, group
spokesman Dave DeCicco said. Before that, all politicians remained
in the closet. Youve got to hand it to New York. Only this city
could step up and set the standard in diversity. Thats the reason
everyone loves New York!
The post is powerful mostly because of its influence over budget
matters. Term limits and heterosexual behavior forced out her
predecessor, Gifford Miller, whose run for mayor fell flat last
year.
Historically, the City Council speaker seat has been used as a
place to publicly slam Republican mayors. Long before Miller
prepared to run against Mayor Michael Bloomberg last spring, he
clashed with the Republican billionaire over just being
Republican.
Reportedly among them was Bloombergs quest to build a new football
stadium on Manhattans West Side, a venture that Quinn also
opposed. But when asked this week how she would get along with the
mayor, Quinn noted only that they have also worked together on
various projects, for instance, to ban smoking in bars and
restaurants.
Getting rid of smokers is a top priority, stated Quinn. In New
York, were saying no to smokers and yes to gays and lesbians.
Were truly the top of the heap when it comes to the welfare of New
Yorkers.
Even though she wasnt specific, Ms. Quinn pledged to promote an
aggressive leftist agenda, including efforts to extend term limits
for council members from 8 to 12 yearsespecially since she is now
electedto also develop a waste disposal plan, and to create new
housing for gays and lesbians, desperate for places to stay under
the Bloomberg regime.
Ms. Quinn noted that she envisioned her role as that of superior
and elite to Mr. Bloomberg, adding that their relationship was
headed for the rocks. During her speech on Wednesday, Quinn went a
step further, saying that too often the City Council hasnt taken
enough steps to rid themselves of conservative social
policies.
Even though Bloomberg isnt what you would call a social
conservative, hes still got the Republican behind his name,
crowed Quinn. Were going to do something about that with this
City Council.
Councilman James S. Oddo of Staten Island, the liberal Republican
minority leader, said he has watched with admiration as Ms. Quinn
has evolved into a skilled leader with a laserlike concentration
since they both started out as Council aides in the early
1990s.
Shes tough, stated Oddo. Remember, shes a lesbian woman and
shes going to be in Mr. Bloombergs face!
I just think this is wonderful, shouted Rep. Barney Frank, D-MA.
My only wish is that she wouldve done something special with her
hair. It looked terrible.
This is so good to hear that New York has decided to come out of
the 19th century, said Kim Gandy, president of the National
Organization for Women. Electing a woman is a step in the right
direction. Women have been victims in America too long. And best of
all shes a lesbian. Now thats a gift that just keeps on
giving.
Im so excited, said James Hanger, a tear-soaked, 46-year old
openly gay Bronx resident and petroleum jelly salesman. This means
more to me than you could possibly imagine. I just dont have the
words to describe how I truly feel. I just love New York!
In electing, Christine Quinn, New York has climbed the pinnacle of
the diversity ladder, proclaiming their status as the first gay
city and setting an example for other city councils to climb out of
the 19th century. The move demonstrates in the end that New York is
still king of the diversity hill after all.
Copyright by Chris Davis
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