Conspiracy theory hatches on Dell Sony battery
recall
The new face of DRM?
By Charlie Demerjian: Monday 21 August 2006, 05:48
THE WHOLE EXPLODING battery thing from Dell and Sony has been
extremely misunderstood. People think it is a manufacturing defect,
a freak accident, or other not planned mishap. We are here to tell
you that can't be farther from the truth, it was planned,
completely, and has far reaching ulterior motives(1).
The batteries that exploded are in a series of Dell notebooks, you
can see the list here, are manufactured by Sony, and are
code named 'Golden Shower', or so
a mole tells us. This is not an
accidental thing, it is a plan by MS, Sony and Dell to enforce DRM
for the RIAA, and we hear rumors that it is also compatible
with the VIIV DRM infection, but no hard evidence has surfaced for
that.
Most people don't realise it, but almost
all laptops have a very sophisticated system controller in place of
the normal keyboard controller. It basically controls most of the
laptop's functions that are not keyboard related, all the buttons,
widgets, and in most cases, the charging and care of the
battery.
So, with all the pieces in place, the DRM mafia sprung into action.
The RIAA supplied a list of random characters they felt infringed
on their ability to siphon money from the unsuspecting, along with
a bunch of programs that they also felt lessened their ability to
control everything while sustaining their dead end business
model.
The baton was passed to Sony who supplied the 'Golden Showers', a
truly bang up job, engineered with a fiery passion. Willing Pawn
was picked as the widest distribution channel, and the first one to
dip their toes in this DRM based conflagration.
Strangely, we are told by moles deep
inside Fortress Redmond that it took just four lines of IC2
controller code to set this off. Testing produced truly explosive
results, and the game was on. Seed the packages to the masses,
ironically with their own money paying for it, then one day,
release the detonation DRM code.
From there on out, watch the pirates burn, and we mean burn. The
problem of pirates removing DRM and only legit customers charring
was considered a minor issue, the rootkit DRM infection was all the
proof they needed for this. Sit back and watch them fry.
Basically, this whole battery scheme is not an accident, it is a
grand conspiracy. When the RIAA does not feel you are paying them
enough, and you have the gall to play your music on your computer
without paying them more, ker-blammo. Golden Showers, Willing Pawns
and DRM infections all tie in to an explosive finish.
The only problem is they got caught before all the pirate scum were
eliminated, but as usual, the RIAA got off without so much as a
slap on the wrist. Sony is again denying everything, and Dell lives
up to it's code name. The shadow government in the northwest wasn't
implicated, so they win too, but then again, if they were caught,
freedom is only a campaign contribution away. ยต
dunno what the crap the article is toking about
actually....sounds too chim. 
