Look Busy:
Having papers spead all over your desk helps, as do pencils which
are widdled down to the eraser. If you have to walk somewhere, keep
your head down, and walk quickly (this also works if youre trying
to avoid being called over to do work. NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT!).
Carrying clipboard with you while moving around also helps.
Look Stressed:
If you look completely stressed out, co-workers and your boss will
be more likely to leave you alone, since you must have other
pressing matters on your mind. To look stressed leave your eyes
unfocused, move from place to place quickly while quietly talking
to yourself, and if someone asks you a question, stare off into the
distance for a moment, give a big sigh, and answer them with an
irritated tone.
Speak Quickly:
If they cant figure out what you said, theyll assume you dont
have the time to explain it.
Hide:
Find a good hiding place. A couple good examples are under a desk,
in the air vents, or a janitors closet.
Break a Limb:
Obviously this method only works when you work at a job that
requires physical labour or typing. How you break the limb is up to
you, though I recommend something spectacular (ie. snowboarding on
the Alps).
Make Excuses:
Theres nothing like having a good list of excuses on hand
(Memorized, that is. A list on paper is suspicious). Ones like I
would stay late, but I have to babysit my mothers aunts friends
sisters goldfish, may work. Of course, ymmv.
Never Leave Your Office/Room:
If you dont leave your office, you are less likely to be bothered.
Remember: out of sight, out of mind. Of course, you will need to
ensure that you have an ample supply of rations so that you can
survive until its time to head home. Bathroom breaks, Im still
working on.
What they cant see
Rearrange your office so
that your computer monitor faces away from any windows or doors
that your boss may be able to see through. This will ensure that
you have ample time to hit the Boss Key in any game youre
playing, or open a Word document to hide the porn youre surfing,
should your boss happen to wander into your
dungeon..er..office.
Fool their eyes: If you cant rearrange your
office, perhaps employ a service like WorkFRIENDLY which acts as a
proxy to mask any website that you visit. You can mask the sites to
look like a Word Document and at a quick glance, they look like any
other document. If the boss gets too close, click the Boss Key
and WordFriendly will hide the website with pseudo-word
document.
Choose a profession people dont
understand:
Im a web developer. Most people dont REALLY understand what you
need to do to be a web developer, so I might be doing a blog post,
but theyre thinking Im working. Golden!
The Jump