http://business.asiaone.com/career/career-building/pain-runs-deep-victims-workplace-bullying
Think again.
Just when you think you are safe from bullying by venturing out
into the working world, presuming that surely everyone is mature
and will not resort to childish bullying tactics to get their way,
you discover that the workplace is no different and it seems like
school all over again with a whole new set of nightmares.
Victims of workplace bullying are usually emotionally abused;
there are no scars or bruises but the pain they suffer goes
deeper.
Here are accounts from some victims.
The Newbies
Newcomers are common targets as they are new to the company and
have yet to form relationships with others; hence they are seen as
easier to bully because they have no one to support them.
Sometimes, newcomers are also seen as threats, especially in a
competitive working environment.
Megan is a 19-year-old sales assistant who is currently being
bullied by her 25-year-old co-worker.
"I only started this job about three months ago. As soon as I
started she thought I was taking all her shifts and (she was)
complaining all the time," she says.
While Megan was learning the ropes, this co-worker became
progressively nastier to her.
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"She would talk to other colleagues about me behind my back, I
would walk in the room and they would stop talking, then they would
whisper and giggle and look at me and just subtly be really
mean.
"She has also been trying to sabotage me and another colleague
by giving me incorrect information, and telling me to lie to
customers. She even hid a signed contract from one colleague just
to get him in trouble.
"There was one incident where she told the manager while I was
standing there talking to him that I shouldn't be getting any
shifts because I don't know what I am doing.
"I have confronted management with it and I believe they have
indirectly dealt with it but have taken no real action.
"It affects me because I feel really nervous coming to work and
I don't like walking into the same room as her. It really upsets me
and I have cried at work before.
There was a day when I just couldn't come in to work because I
didn't want to have to deal with it anymore. I have wanted to leave
my job but it is just one person and I try not to let it get to
me."
Min, in her 20s, also experienced bullying some years ago while
working at her first job.
"On my first day I felt discriminated against. I felt unwelcome.
During the first week I even had to go lunch by myself.
"I would get a very bad response and support from the Technical
and Software Department whenever I needed help.
"I later found out that everyone in the company hated my senior
who likes to lick the boots of the company general manager and
never actually does his work.
"All he does is talk to the GM the whole day and come out with
all sorts of recommendations and command others to do it. Because
of that, there's (a lot of) office politics going on with this
senior and other departments.
"I later confronted the Technical and Software colleagues and
asked why they treated me that way. They told me they thought I was
recommended by my senior and presumed that I'm his ally.
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"I said it was very unfair that they judged me without asking or
verifying. In the end, I became close to them and turned against my
senior."
Veterans
It is not just bright-eyed fresh grads who are prone to
bullying; on some occasions, even those nearing retirement are
targeted.
Lynn could not believe that someone like her, in her 50s, could
be a target for bullying.
"I just rejoined the company; I had left many years ago to care
for my family, among other reasons. The person who is bullying me
is in her 40s. She is always trying to put me down. She tried to
separate me from others by telling them I'm a loner," she says.
"Bullies are insecure. She saw me as a threat and told others
that I was incompetent. It did not help that she is popular among
colleagues; some believed her."
Lynn was not easily affected by the bullying, given her years of
working experience.
"As an older person, I know where I stand. I just let others
know. I also found out that she is mean to others, not just me. My
colleagues are now more careful in dealing with her," she said.
Guys, too
Aside from women, men can also be victims of bullying at the
workplace.
Alex was 23 when he joined his company and somehow became the
target of a senior colleague.
"She would tell blatant lies about me in front of the boss. I
tried to defend myself but as she was second in command, naturally
he believed her more than me.
"She would try to sabotage my projects, make life difficult for
me at work and also turn my colleagues against me," he said.
It did not help that one of his superiors was sexually harassing
him. He quit soon after.
<!--pagebreak-->Potential targets
As the above examples show, targets of bullies can exist at any
stage of working life. "Firstly, bullies always target people they
think they control," said psychologist Karen Goonting,
She added that an employee could also become a target if
he/she:
Has at least one vulnerability that can be exploited;
Is different from others;
Is conscientious, a quiet achiever, good at his/her job, is
agreeable and well-liked;
Shows independence of thought or deed;
Gets more attention from others than the bully does;
Has inappropriate social skills and has annoyed the bully;
Is unassertive and prefers to avoid conflict;
Has a dispute with the bully; and
Is just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
She added that sometimes, a victim can be chosen because the
bully's previous target leaves the organisation.
"If there is no likelihood that you will be physically
assaulted, the quickest way is to inform the bully personally,
assertively and respectfully that you will not be bullied,"
Goonting said.
"Be prepared with concrete examples of the bullying ... the
bully may feign ignorance or, as often happens in Malaysia, say it
was all a joke and you are over-sensitive."
Bullies pick targets they think they can control, so "the
objective here is to show the bully that you will not allow him or
her to control you."
