[Relationships] - "I chanced upon my hubby's other family"
http://singaporeseen.stomp.com.sg/singaporeseen/confession-of-the-day/confession-i-chanced-upon-my-hubby-and-his-other-family-while-on-holiday

"It started out like any other holiday. My husband Fred* and I
had been to this hotel many times before.
"In fact, it had become a ritual for us to visit every year,
staying about five days each time - Fred had found the place and I
liked the delicious food and wonderful spa treatments they
offered.
"Some years, we went alone, and other years, our two young
children would come along.
"Fred had many friends and business associates there, and he
would occasionally leave me to my own devices while he went to meet
them, coming back in time for dinner.
"On this holiday, Fred, as usual, told me he was going to meet
his buddies. Innocently, I asked to tag along - in all the 10 years
we had been holidaying there, I'd never met his friends.
"Fred refused, saying I'd be bored with their mundane chatter.
He asked me to enjoy the hotel facilities and wait for his return
later that evening. I reluctantly agreed.
"However, two hours later, I decided to go shopping in town. I
spent a fair bit of time walking around, working up an appetite.
Feeling famished, I headed to a nearby cafe for some snacks and a
cup of tea.
"As I crossed the road to the cafe, I saw Fred sitting at one of
the tables, feeding three young children.
"They must be his friends' kids, I thought. Eager for my
husband's company, I hurried over to him, only to stop short when I
noticed a petite woman carrying a tray of food making her way
towards Fred.
"I watched as she sat next to Fred and leaned in for a kiss. My
eyes widened in disbelief as my husband kissed her back on the
lips. My heart sank as I watched them gaze lovingly into each
other's eyes.
"Not knowing what to do after catching my husband sharing an
intimate moment with another woman, I quickly looked for a place to
hide.
"I stepped behind a big tree, trying not to hyperventilate as I
tried to work out what I had just seen.
"Was the woman one of Fred's many friends, I wondered? But no
matter how much I tried to rationalise what I'd seen, it came back
to one thing - judging from the intimate way Fred and the woman
were behaving, they must be lovers.
"I should know - I'd been married to Fred for 12 years and that
look he gave the woman was the same one he used to give me in our
'honeymoon' years.
"My eyes started to burn - I didn't realise I had been crying.
At a loss as to what to do, I contemplated packing my bags and
flying home.
"Then I felt indignant. Why should I beat a hasty retreat? It
was bad enough that I was cowering behind a tree as if I was the
one with something to hide.
"After about half an hour, I decided I needed to find out what
was going on.
"Taking a deep breath, I marched across the road into the cafe
and over to Fred's table. He turned pale when he saw me.
"I'd wanted to stay calm but my anger got the better of me - I
slapped him and demanded to know who the woman was.
"Rubbing his cheek, Fred pulled me aside and asked me to return
to the hotel.
"He said it was all a big misunderstanding and that he would
explain everything later.
"I became hysterical and demanded that he tell me everything
there and then, or I would kick up an even bigger fuss for all to
see.
"Seeing that his efforts to placate me had failed, Fred brought
me back to the table. The woman had remained seated the whole time,
hugging the children close to her while watching my little drama
with Fred unfold.
"Meet Jane*, Fred said, and her kids.
"Jane gave me a meek smile but I just stared at her.
"Fred explained that he had met Jane four years ago during a
work trip there. Jane was the waitress at the restaurant that he
and his business associates were having dinner at.
"They'd connected emotionally and Fred had decided to pursue the
friendship.
"When he found out that Jane and her children had been abandoned
by her ex-husband, Fred took pity on her and helped her out
financially - he tried to make as many business trips to the place
as he could, so that he could look in on her more often.
"'So you repay my husband's kindness by having an affair with
him?' I asked Jane. She kept quiet and looked to Fred for help. She
seemed genuinely distressed. I watched in dismay as Fred reached
for her hand and squeezed it.
"Then he turned to me and dropped a bombshell: 'We're not having
an affair, Kim. We got married two years ago.'
"I was stunned. My husband had married another woman?
"He had been juggling two families for the past two years and
leading a double life?
"My children and I had been sharing a father and husband all
this while? Was their marriage even recognised? How was he
supporting dual families - did he skimp on us so he could splurge
on them?
"No wonder he loved going back time and again to the same hotel
for a holiday - it was so convenient for him to sneak out and spend
time with his other family!
"I was in shock and seething with rage, but I was also
disappointed and heartbroken.
"I ran out of the cafe and caught a cab back to the hotel. Fred
didn't chase after me - I wasn't sure if I felt relieved or upset
at that.
"Fred didn't return to the hotel until late that night. By then,
my eyes were swollen from crying and I'd packed my bags. I told him
I was going home the next morning.
"Fred tried to persuade me to stay, saying we needed to work
things out.
"I refused and told him that if he still loved me, he would
leave with me. He took a moment to consider, then told me to go
ahead.
"'I need to tie up some loose ends. I will be home in two days,'
he said.
"So I went home alone, rejected by the man I'd thought was my
soulmate - we had been together since college and hardly ever
argued throughout our relationship - and mulling over myriad
questions.
"Was my marriage a sham? Was it worth saving? How would I tell
the kids that their father has another family overseas? By the time
Fred returned home two days later, I still didn't have the
answers.
"For a month after that, Fred and I crept around each other, not
saying much and keeping up a semblance of a marriage before we
attempted to communicate again.
"Fred reached out first, saying we needed to discuss things. He
took me to dinner at our favourite restaurant and was an absolute
gentleman that night, reminding me of how he used to be when we'd
first started dating.
"He apologised for upsetting me and told me that he hadn't
planned on falling in love with Jane. 'It just happened,' he said
earnestly.
"He said he was waiting for the right time to tell me. Sobbing,
he asked for my forgiveness.
"He'd missed me terribly and wanted to make things better
between us. 'Can't we just go back to the way we were?' he begged.
He promised that he would fairly divide his time between Jane and
me.
"At that moment, it all became clear to me - I knew what I
needed to do. We'd never go back to the way we were if Fred wasn't
willing to let go of his other wife. I certainly wasn't going to
share, so I asked Fred for a divorce.
"He was taken aback. 'We've been married for so long. You can't
just give up on us now. Think of our children,' he implored.
"But I remained firm. I told him he had made a mockery of our
marriage and I couldn't accept another woman in his life.
"I couldn't understand how my husband could give his heart to
someone else and sneak around while doing so.
"That was two years ago. It took me about a year to finally move
on with my life.
"I have a steady job now and have moved back in with my parents,
who have been so supportive, even helping me care for my kids while
I'm at work.
"It was difficult at first, having to survive on a single income -
I realised how 'pampered' we had been when Fred was around and
bringing home a big salary - but we have managed to adjust to our
new, humble lifestyle.
"I never bothered to find out what the legal status of Fred's
second marriage was.
"But I explained to my children what their father did and why we
divorced - I don't want to hide anything from them. I don't know if
they fully grasped the situation - all they did was to cry and hug
me, and ask for Daddy to make them breakfast the day after - but I
hope they will understand when they get older.
"They still see their father once in a while, but they are no
longer as close to him as before.
"I have started dating again. I'm not yet ready to walk down the
aisle once more, but I'm willing to take a second chance with
another man.
"I hope that I'll be able to find someone better than Fred,
someone who will not only embrace my young ones as his own, but
also love me - and only me."
(*Names have been changed, obviously)