MOE Teacher Matthew Zachary Liu posted on his Facebook :
https://www.facebook.com/matthew.singapore/posts/1094680177250954
http://www.domainofexperts.com/2016/03/we-should-look-deeper-and-do-more-for.html
Ive been struggling, contemplating whether to share this
publicly.. but it being the March school break now, with time to
sit down and reflect deeper, Ive decided to write this post to
share about two particular classroom moments from the first term
that made me extremely emotional.
I understand what im about to write may be very sensitive and
again get me into potential trouble, but ive chosen to write about
this publicly because after these particular two classroom moments,
I strongly feel that perhaps we as a society, parents and education
system should start to look deeper and do more for our young
ones.
The first classroom moment was with a Secondary 1 Normal Academic
class.
These bunch of kids were not only disinterested, the kids were
somehow filled with a lot of animosity and anger. They hated each
other. They were very vulgar and hostile towards one another. There
was no way I could conduct my lesson plan proper because the class
was just very disruptive and destructive - cursing, shouting,
almost fighting every other minute. I felt the need to
intervene..
The kids disliked each other because of their perceived differences
and all the petty things like name calling, ship-ing, you stare
at me for what! and typical teenage angst/ insecurities. I decided
to explore that deeper. My purpose was merely to get them to
understand how similar they actually are and hopefully to bridge
their differences once they realised this.
But what happened during my spontaneous experiment broke the entire
class down in tears and hit me very hard.. for me, it was THE most
emotional moment in a classroom.
So I got all the kids to close their eyes (which they loved because
yay can sleep!) and told them ill be asking them a few
questions.. every time they felt connected with the question(s) I
asked, I wanted them to stand (still with their eyes closed).
It started harmlessly enough.
Who likes chicken rice? Who loves Taylor Swift? Who hates
Math? Who reads manga? Who plays kendama Who watches youtube
whose favourite Youtuber is Night Owl Cinematics"
every time they
felt connected with the questions I was asking, theyd stand (eyes
closed) and then id get them to look around the room to see who
was standing with them as well.
Eh you read manga too! I didnt know sia, wah you also hate Man
U! High five! you hate maths? I thought your maths power
one!"
They started realising similar things about themselves and their
classmates and instantly felt a little more connected. After a few
fun questions and with the whole class now engaged and
participative, I decided to go a little deeper..
How many of you feel useless or have ever been told youre
worthless?"
With their eyes shut, the entire class stood up.
And when they opened their eyes, a few gasped.
Why? i asked them.
because I not clever because im not good at anything my
parents dont care so I dont care, a few of them said. The one
who said my parents dont care instantly drew a tease from
another classmate who mocked him HA even your parents dont care
about you! and a fight was about to break out again.
But the mood in the classroom was shifting. From simply realising
that they have similar interests as their classmates and laughing
about it, when we started talking about the more serious stuff,
many were silently nodding their heads in agreement. I started
asking deeper questions.. and the class started breaking down their
walls and opening up their worlds.
Then when we were talking about family, I asked this one question
that just opened a floodgate of emotions..
How many of you have ever lost a loved one? Someone close to you,
someone you love.. someone thats no longer in your life,"
About half the class stood up. The ones who were standing looked at
each other silently but with a certain understanding. The ones who
didnt stand looked at the ones who were standing silently but
respectfully.
I knew I was entering extremely sensitive zone. But there was
something happening with this class and I wanted them to explore
things further.. I asked if anyone would like to share.
A few wanted to but were hesitant. One of the boy (whos also one
of the class clown) almost did but when he half raised his hand,
his friends sniggered (probably expecting him to crack some joke)
and he withdrew. I got very serious with the class and told them we
were going into a very vulnerable space - the ones who stood up
lost a loved one.. I wanted the entire class to be mature about it
and to give their utmost respect to anyone who wanted to open up.
No teasing. No nonsense. They promised.
The same boy then stood up and shared his story..
I lost my father when I was 11
the class became very quiet. Some
of them had their mouths open in shock.
every day I try to be happy but I miss my dad a lot, he shared.
With tremendous courage. I literally had goosebumps and a heavy
sadness in my heart.
Slowly, some of the other kids built up their courage to open up a
very private chapter of their lives. And the stories just got even
more heartbreaking.
I lost my grandma when I was younger
I never really knew her but
every time my mother talks about her and tells me how grandma
helped to raise me and support my mom, it makes me really want to
meet her. Now, every time other people talk about their grandma I
will miss my grandma a lot and wish she was still around, one of
the girls shared.
I lost my father when I was 7
and lost my second father when he
left my mother
but I just have to be strong for my mother and we
have to move on with our lives, one very emotionally mature girl
opened up.
The kids who had stories to share started building up courage to
step forward voluntarily and share something so intimate.. and the
class began showing compassion and care for one another as the
stories unfolded. After a few of the other kids had shared their
stories, one of the girls who was now in tears, decided to share
her story..
Ive never told anyone this before.. but sometimes im sad
because.. I lost my younger sister when I was 8.. she broke down
and couldnt continue. But as she retreated to her seat, the ones
around her who initially seemed as if they were void of any kind of
emotion started to comfort her. It was heartbreaking to hear the
stories yet extremely heartwarming to witness the instant change in
the kids.
The last boy who wanted to share was the class ah beng. But he
wasnt the kind of ah beng that tormented his peers. It was the
opposite. He appeared fierce and vulgar on the outside but he was
always getting picked on by the rest of the class.
I lost my mother
because my father went to find another woman and
have a family with her
I now stay with my other mother and
father, he began his story.
Do you hate your stepmom? one of his classmates asked.
I dont hate my stepmother because she is nice to me. But I miss
my real mother. I wish my dad last time never beat her. I hate it
every time he beat my mother.. but i still love my father.. I wish
he care about me more only. When I come to school with you guys, I
actually dont like it when all of you keep teasing me but I feel
more home here than when I go home so I tahan only lor, he said,
trying his best to hold back tears.
I wrapped the unexpectedly powerful, emotional moment with them by
first thanking them.. for being mature, for being honest, for being
vulnerable, for being respectful, for caring. I shared with them
that I too was extremely moved by their stories and inspired by
their tremendous courage because theyve been through so much in
their short 13 years of living that I may not even fully
understand. Then we talked about how all these stories, all these
emotions and similarities.. how all of these real connections and
emotions bind us as people but were always so blinded because of
the walls of hate we build up against each other before we even get
to really understand them.
I personally think them witnessing and experiencing this right
before their teary eyes absolutely hit home because even though it
was still a bit awkward for them, they were starting to be
genuinely nicer towards each other. Also shared with them that
whatever they may have been through in life so far, whatever anyone
has ever said about them negatively, all these things do not define
them. They showed so much courage opening up their lives and
sharing their stories, but they possess even greater strength
inside because theyve lived through these moments and have the
power to make it better. I challenged them to do better, be better
and they sincerely said ill try. For me, that was a start. When
the ah beng later thanked me for the best lesson ever, that was a
bonus.
Im writing this because we live in a society and system that is
results driven and care little or have little time for anything
else. And its a culture ingrained in us since young. By parents
expectations, by society standards, by school KPIs. But our young
ones are not results churning robots. They feel too. They know.
Sometimes, they dont. And thats why all the more, we as parents,
teachers, mentors, society and even policy makers should not just
do more, but be more interested and invested in the lives of these
young ones.
I personally know many amazing teachers who truly care about their
kids more than just the grades they attain on papers. They want to
do so much more. But they simply do not have the time, resources or
freedom because of all the other administrative duties or red tape
they have to adhere to.
Dear MOE, please, I implore you to give our teachers more time to
share lessons of life, to invest and inspire their young charges
the way theyd like to, the way they were filled with dreams,
passion and hope to do so much more for the next generation when
they chose teaching as a career the way you sold it to them. Its a
different generation of kids. We need to change to.
Dear parents, especially if your kids are in primary school.. your
kids may be suffering in silence. There is another heartbreaking
classroom moment that happened with one of the P6 class I was
teaching that I may write about and share soon but for now.. dear
parents, this March school break, please talk to and more
importantly, listen to your kids. Really listen to them.. allow
them to invite you into their world.. not just the world you want
to build and demand of them. The more you force that, the higher
they will start to build their walls. Your kids love you. Please
let them know and feel that you love them too.
https://www.facebook.com/matthew.singapore/posts/1094680177250954
http://www.domainofexperts.com/2016/03/we-should-look-deeper-and-do-more-for.html