There is a village that only has one restaurant. Everyone in the
village has to eat at that restaurant PAPCH Garden which serves $10
XO Chye Tow Kueh.
Villager: Why can’t we have more than one
restaurant?
Head Waiter: Our village is at a critical point in it’s
economic development where more than one restaurant can lead to
chaos, so we only have one restaurant. Also, if there are other
restaurants, I might get distracted and be unable to concentrate on
my job.
Villager: But the food here is really not good! And
it’s very expensive because all the staff are paid so much. And
it’s also full of outsiders from other countries eating in it – and
you have them working in the kitchen too, taking away ours
jobs.
Head Waiter: Our restaurant is a small one. If you were
to open another restaurant, the prosperity of the village would be
fundamentally threatened.
Villager: But can’t it be a little cheaper?
Head Waiter: That would not suit the conditions of our
village; the restaurant also needs to develop. We need to pay top
dollar to attract top talents for our restaurant.
Waitress who called herself Ms Eff You: When I
made the decision to join the restaurant in 2006, pay was not a key
factor. Loss of privacy, public scrutiny on myself and my family
and loss of personal time were. The disruption to my previous
career was also an important consideration. I had some ground to
believe that my family would not suffer a drastic change in the
standard of living even though I experienced a drop in my income.
So it is with this recent pay cut. If the balance is tilted further
in the future, it will make it harder for any one considering
joining the restaurant.
Villager: But the employees of the restaurant are all
driving Mercedes Benz! And living in bungalows! And some of them
have more than 10 houses.
Head Waiter: To ensure fair and uncorrupted
staff, you need to pay them high salaries. This is what it is
called, a transparent wage. If you really want, we will form a
committee to decide on the staff wages, then talk about it in front
of you even though we have already made a decision.
Villager: But last year, you lent all the profits of
the restaurant to Temashit store and Jee Ai See Corporation!
Head Waiter: This is the village policy, you
don’t need to worry about it. We are in it for the long term.
Villager: I heard that the Jee Ai See guy in charge of
purchasing bought all the worthless shares that have since lost all
their value – 50 billion American peanuts worth.
Head Waiter: That type of employee is very
rare.
Villager: Then why did you promote him to make him
President of the restaurant company?
Head Waiter: We have already volunteered him to take a
pay cut of 51%.
Villager: But he’s still the best paid President on
earth!
Head Waiter: Let’s move on. You have misunderstood
me.
Other villagers: And the water from kitchen flooded our
houses the other day!
Waiter in-charge of drinks: Ah, that was just ponding
which happens once in 50 years.
Villager: And what about the time your restaurant
system broke down for over 4 hours and trapped over a 1000 people
inside?
Restaurant Valet: Don’t worry, we will have a
committee of inquiry on this matter. Also, that chef responsible
has also left to pursue personal interests. And the second chef has
also left earlier to pursue personal interests.
Villager: So when we’ve got so many problems, why do
you still hang up certificates of high quality? Why do you tell
outsiders that everyone is eating so well? There are some people in
our village who have no houses and not enough to eat.
Waiter in-charge of drinks: What do you want, 3 meals a
day? Anyway, you misunderstood me. I am sorry you are upset about
your misunderstanding me.
Villager: The grain was grown by the peasant farmers.
The village was built by the first generation villagers and the its
security is undertaken by all our our young male villagers for 2
years of their lives.
Head Waiter: Look, New Singapore Shares!
Villager: I can’t even get a decent meal, what do these
other things have to do with me? Why don’t other villages have all
these problems that we have here?
Old Waiter: Whenever you talk about yourself,
you only say bad things. When you talk about others, you say
everything is good. You are so complacent. You need to have spurs
stuck in your hide. You must repent!
Villager: Eh, but down the road there is a new hawker
stall with a hammer sign. The food quality looks quite good and the
staff wear blue uniforms. Also, they smile at you and try to help
you. They have a chye tow kueh chef who was trained in Beijing to
make XO chye tow kueh and many other things. He has even taken a
pay cut to come back and help our village out.
Major General (NS) Waiter: But hor, even though they
only charge you $1.50, you might not want to eat it because the
quality is not good leh. (Turning to the other waiters) If you guys
agree with me, Kee Chiu!
Old waiter (getting angry): If you choose to
go to that hawker stall, then I say good luck to you. You have five
years to ruminate and to regret what you did. And I have no doubts
you will regret it. At the end of the day, you should ask yourself:
Do you want a celebrity chef who has been away 30 years and a bunch
of non-scholars to serve you?’
Head Waiter (quickly cut in): Please
bear with us. We’re trying our best on your behalf. And if we
didn’t quite get it right, I am sorry but we will try and do better
the next time.”
Villager: Too late. 39.9% of us are going to try the
stall. I hear it’s in Aljunied.
