Hi.. i can say to you this.. you as parent can only do so much.
You tried your best by engaging tutors, trying soft approach trying
all sorts of different ideas. But this is only a small part. The
big part lies in himself and his friends.
By saying himself, you must see what he is really thinking. What
he really wants. I believe some of the forumers are right in saying
kids nowadays like quick results. I myself last time was very into
playing games too, Playstation and playstation 2. Was practically
gaming the whole day. Now with WOW, DOTA and all sorts of games,
your son can easily spent up to half a day gaming or thinking about
it. If your son's heart is not there in studies no matter how much
you forced him to study he will do it half heartedly. He will keep
thinking about the games and keep wanting to play.
I have experience this. Everytime I play a game, I will keep
thinking about it almost 24 hours. Thinking like how the story will
unfold, how to cross this stage. The thought of the game is so
severe until i dreamt about it. Until I dreamt about the solution
to a game, which was really the solution. I was obsessed with
playing games as well, and I was neglecting my studies too. But the
difference is, I knew that I was suffering from this and I tried to
kick the habit by shifting the games to my cousin house so I had no
games to play.
Take a look at the NTU indonesian student that die recently. His
results drop because he was playing too much game. He was a scholar
and even he could not resist the temptation of playing game.
Therefore you as a mother must know the lure of these games.
Every child wants to play. And this brings me to my next point. If
your son's friends are all playing these games, then it will
definitely affect your son because he wants to play them too and so
to have a common topic with the friends. Friends actually play a
huge role on the development of a child in his teenage years. I am
not asking you to scold his friends or wat.
The most important factor lies in your son himself. What does he
wants? Can he see the pros and cons of gaming and studying? Can he
see what his own future is? Your son himself needs to wake up.
There is so much a parent can do for a child. If your son does not
want to wake up you cannot do anything more. It takes time,
sometime people wake up early, sometimes people wake up in their
20s. By waking up I mean know what is important for him, being
mature and planning for the future.
You as a mother should remind him of these but not over do it,
as in too much nagging because children nowadays do the opposite of
what their parents want. Therefore it is very tricky part.
Parenting is not easy, every parent wants the best for the
child. But it depends on the child himself. sometimes, it will take
a very significant event to wake the child up. Example seeing
himself failing O level, seeing his mother fainting over his poor
results. I suggest you to stop worrying about this, let him be for
the moment, let him fail and let him be on his own. Hopefully he
will see his own fault soon, especially if he starts failing all
his subjects. All you can do is to be there for him when he needs
you. Its his life not yours, even if he becomes a gang lord next
time, it is what he chose, you may object but you are not him. Just
be there for him at all times and with motherly love, i believe he
will one day understand all that you did for him are actually for
his own good.
Last time i was pretty bad as well, getting caught by police,
however it was the police case that shook me up. I was only 12 then
and I changed ever since. Then I was obssessed with games but I
managed to see mu fault early and I chuck my game aside.
I believe one forumer said something about being results
orientated. This is indeed true. Kids nowadays want good results
fast. Let me ask you, if you keep getting 50++ for your exams, then
you would not be motivated to study at all. However, if you keep
getting 90++, you will be motivated to study to work harder. It is
the same for everyone i guess.
Therefore my advice to you is, leave your son to "die" by
himself, but stay by his side to give him support. If he fails all
his exams, dont score him, stay by his side and let him understand
your pain, let him ownself learn how to wake up.
Your son has a long way to go.