1 - The Entry
Enter gym. Puff your chest out, so you look like you're the alpha
male of the gym. This will intimidate others, and it will cause
them to move away so you can have space to work out, yet it will
also cause them to stare at you, intrigued at your incredible
physique. Look around at the members with a scowl on your face, as
if to tell them that you are the man and you own the place. If you
spot a girl, pretend that you don't give a shit about her, but make
sure you are in her field of vision at all times.
2 - The Workout
Arms
10 sets Barbell Curls
8 sets Dumbell Curls
4 sets Hammer Curls
Chest
10 sets Flat Bench
10 sets Incline Bench
10 sets Decline Bench
10 sets Flat Flyes
For arms, pick a weight you struggle to get two reps with, then
double it and do 10 sets of 10 reps. Forget what all the big dudes
tell you - they may have 18 inch arms, but they've also been
training 10 years. If they tell you to drop the weight and use good
form, keep reminding yourself that it took them 10 YEARS of that
bullshit to get that way. If you do 10 x 10 as outlined above,
you'll grow in no time. Repeat for the Dumbell Curls and Hammer
Curls.
For chest, you'll need a training partner to spot you. Same deal
again - pick a weight you can get 2 reps with, double it, and punch
out 10. Remember, you are not measured as a man by how large your
chest is, but how much you can bench. If you are benching 150lb
solo for 10 but you have a good chest, you are a pansy next to the
guy benching 350lb who uses a spotter to lift the weight 10 times.
Repeat for Incline, Decline and Flat Flyes.
Abs
Never train abs at the gym. Train them at home in secret. If girls
see you training abs, they'll think you aren't as good as you
really are. If you train abs at home, they'll not see you do it,
but you can still have a tiny midsection. But just do crunches.
Training obliques is just ridiculous, and they add nothing to your
physique.
3 - Gym Attire
It is important you dress properly. Always wear shorts with long
socks and whatever training shoes are popular at the time. Don't
worry about functionality of the shoes; leg training is for losers
and you don't need to do cardio because you look awesome already.
Always wear a singlet too - everyone should see your arms, because
that's what will impress everyone in your gym. Make sure it's cut
low enough around the neck though, so the upper pec region is
visible. You want to give the girls a hint of what is to come later
on. If you tease them with something, they'll ALWAYS want more.
When you enter the gym, it is acceptable to wear a shirt with the
collar up. Make sure the shirt is two sizes too small. They show
off your size a lot better. A bracelet is always helpful - make
sure it's either yellow or pink. Sometimes a hat is fine - if not,
make sure your hair is all messed up. It gives people the illusion
you don't care. The beauty of this is that this is a popular style,
so you'll look stylish at the same time.
4 - Workout Frequency
In the world of bodybuilding, more is always better. If possible,
work out Monday through Friday. If you can't, you'll still grow but
at a smaller rate. Never train on the weekend. Friday nights and
Saturday nights are for staying out until the early morning and
partying, and showing off your amazing physique to all the girls.
Sunday you will need to recover from your Friday and Saturday
nights.
5 - Nutrition
It is meaningless. You can eat whatever you want, but drink a lot
of caffeinated drinks like Red Bull. They make you look cool, and
add to the mystique that surrounds you. People will wonder how
someone can be so amped the whole time on caffeine and still look
so awesome. But diet is meaningless. Protein is merely a placebo,
there are no good and bad carbs, and fat is an excuse for people
who are genetically predisposed to having heart problems or obesity
problems. These people are merely there for you to laugh at,
because you are superior.
6 - Summary
If you want girls, it's as easy as this:
Train Biceps.
Train Chest.
There you have it. If you are after girls, follow the advice above,
and you'll have them beating a path to you in no time at all. The
above plan works especially well for those in the 14 - 18 year old
age group. See you all next time.
