Poor pre-production - half the battle lost.. Pardon me for being
frank.. But I really wonder what went through your head during the
cognitive, scripting and storyboarding process (if they exist at
all) The plot is so damn conventional and unconvincing.. The worst
bit... is that it's darn boring.. I had to fast forward through the
video not to doze off
Poor filming - you guys gotta work out the angles and put in more
close ups to make the video more interesting. With all due respect,
but I think little of the cameraman... he sure lacks a steady
arm... Unless of course you try to argue you're exploring
unconventional filming techniques like those demostrated in Blair
Witch Project... But I submit to you that you guys failed
anyway..
Poor editing - I shall spare technical talk 'bout color correction,
choice of transitions and all... but the very basics like the
cutting of scenes were poor too.. The rule of thumb is that too
long of something bores the crap out of the viewers... (I choked on
my drink when I saw the blue screen with text in the beginning,
that is one area you guys should avoid - it just make the whole
video look amateurish.. but then again, you guys probably used
windows movie maker for editing... oh well.. can't expect much from
it)
You guys should spend more time exploring the works of other
multimedia people... Watch more TV even, and observe how they
actually filmed to make it more interesting for the viewers... I'd
advise for amateurs to use tripod instead of trying to film with
free hand... And to play with different angles (directions, wide
shot, close up shot, half body shot) that kinda thing...
Scripting/Storyboarding wise, I've got hardly anything to say but
do spend some time on the research and all. Benefit from the ideas
and creativity of others but be original as much as possible. 2
mins of a shaky camera aiming around, zooming in and out without
much meaning just don't make the cut. I'd advise you guys to
actually plan everything out in the pre-production stage... from
the sound effects, to the camera angles, storyline,
timelength...
Editing, use a software like Premier or Final Cut Pro if you can
get your hands on it. Rule of thumb is not to use that many
transitions for it just make the video looks amateurish like I[ve
mentioned (if you observe, those TV commercials with huge budgets
hardly use transitions) Pay attention to the color treatment and
all, in some of the shots - the colors are all wrong.
As someone who dwell in this circle, I'm sad to say that the video
got no commercial value 
Oh well, I've said my piece and perhaps said too much. I beg your
pardon for being too harsh; also for punctuations that I'm ashamed
of. I assure you I don't type like this usually but I desperately
wanted to expound whatever thoughts my head could think of at this
ungodly hour. If you have any questions, be it regarding filming,
editing or even technical stuff like handling a HD camcorder or
whatever - do PM me. I am most of the time, someone nice 
