I heard Wayne got a good deal ... John O'Shea enters
negotiations. Photograph: Michael Regan/Getty Images
Question: how do you make paying Wayne Rooney
£250,000 per week seem reasonable? Answer: Pay John
O'Shea £80,000 per week. So that's what Manchester United
are about to do, according to the Sun. Ta-da! "O'Shea hit's the
jackpot!" roars the redtop and it's true that the Irish
defender-cum-midfielder-cum-substitute is in luck. For when other
utility men are seeking extra money they have to scrawl an ad on a
piece of paper and post it on the notice board of their local
greengrocer's, where it competes for the attention of passersby
with ads for "sensual massages from 18-year-old oriental girls"
whose handwriting looks curiously masculine and non-smoking
professionals wanted to share a two-bedroom flat close to local
amenities, which may or may not include sensual 18-year-old
oriental masseuses with curiously masculine handwriting.
It remains a matter of some uncertainty as to whether the
Glazers will allow any more money to be spent after all the
contract extensions but some folks clearly believe they will: and
that's good news for Sir Alex Ferguson's long-time penpal
Steven Defour, who will finally be brought to Old
Trafford from Standard Liège in January. Mind you, that deal could
be funded by the sales of Michael Carrick and
Darron Gibson, with the former a target for Fulham
and the latter highly fancied by WBA and Sunderland.
Tomasz Kuszczak, meanwhile, may as well start
cavorting in his local greengrocer's, it seems. Because reports in
Italy claim that when Gianluigi Buffon recovers
from his hernia bother, he'll not resume playing for Juventus but
will instead hightail it to United. Goal.com, meanwhile, insists
the keeper United really want is Shay Given, who,
the site claims, was offered to them as a make-weight in the
proposed Rooney-to-City transfer. That didn't go through, as you
may have heard, but the Given-to-United bit is still on, or so say
the very same sources that said Rooney was definitely on his bike
last week.
City's suits, meanwhile, are standing excitedly around one of
those big cashometers that Blue Peter used to have to gauge
donations and jibbering excitedly about how close they are to
reaching Sheikh Mansour's personal splurge-target of one billion
pounds. There's just a little over £400m to go but market observers
are optimistic that City may find a way to pay around that much in
January, when synchronised swoops will take place for Sporting
Lisbon's 21-year-old defender Daniel Carrico,
Lazio's Romanian full-back Stefan Radu and former
United flop Diego Forlán.
Roma would quite like it if City, or anyone else for that
matter, offered even three old lira for all-too-easily inflatable
Brazilian striker Adriano. The Italian giants are
not big enough to accommodate the Brazilian striker, nor rich
enough to pay him £4m a year not to play, and are desperate to ease
the strain on their payroll and dug-out. In fact, their payroll is
currently so onerous that they are also contemplating selling star
man Mirko Vucinic. Internazionale are interested.
So, of course, are City.
David Moyes, meanwhile, is confident of beating the smurfish
Dider Deschamps in a fight, and it may just come to that, so badly
do both Everton and Marseille want the 23-year-old Espanyol
midfield schemer José Callejón.
Swindon's Sean Morrison is causing ructions,
too, as QPR, Newcastle and Sunderland all jostle for his
signature.
At Shakhtar Donetsk, meanwhile, the Croatia defender
Darijo Srna is showing that the lessons of the
Rooney sage can be applied anywhere, and has put his contract talks
on hold while letting it be known that several clubs, including
Chelsea and City, would be willing to lavish riches upon him.
