Letting Go
by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky
In this week's portion Moshe talks about what was perhaps the most
traumatic moment of his career. After spending 40 days and nights
on the highest level of spiritual elevation, he returned from Mount
Sinai to a scene that filled him with horror. At the foot of the
mountain the Jews were reveling around a golden calf.
Naturally Moshe was appalled. Here he was, holding the luchos
(tablets), a G-d-given immortal gift, and he faced a nation plunged
into an act of idolatry. He smashes the luchos.
But if we analyze the narrative there is an interesting word that
Moshe inserts as he describes his actions on that day. "I descended
from the mountain and the two tablet were in my hands. Then I saw
and behold! You had sinned unto G-d; you made yourselves a molten
calf. So I grasped the two luchos and I threw them from my two
hands and smashed them in front of your eyes" (Deuteronomy
9:15-17).
Moshe was holding the tablets when descending the mountain. Why did
he clutch them before throwing them from his hands? Weren't they
already in his hands?
Shouldn't the verse tell us "Then I saw and behold! You had sinned
and you made yourselves a molten calf. So I threw the tablets from
my two hands and smashed them in front of your eyes." Why, and in
what way did he grasp them?
A friend of mine told me a story about his great grandfather, a
brilliant sage and revered tzadik. Whenever he saw one of his
children commit an action that was harmful to their physical or
spiritual well-being he would stop them. But this sage knew that
stopping a child is not enough. The youngster would need a
punishment too, whether it be potch (Yiddish for slap), reprimand,
lecture, or the withholding of privileges.
But when a potch or harsh rebuke was due, the rabbi would not give
it immediately. He would jot the transgression down in a small
notebook and at the end of the week he would approach the young
offender. After giving the child a hug and embrace, he reminded the
child of the incident and explained to the child that his actions
were wrong.
"I should have punished you immediately when I saw you commit your
act," he would say, "but honestly, I was angry then, and my
punishment may have been one spurred by anger, not admonition. Now,
however, that occurrence is in the past and I am calm. Now I can
mete your punishment with a clear head. And you will know that it
is given from love, not anger."
He then proceeded to punish the child in a way that fit the
misdeed. Moshe was upset. But he did not want to throw the luchos
down in rage. He therefore grabbed them and held them tight before
hurling them. Moshe, in his narrative tells us that he seized the
luchos before breaking them. He wanted to send a clear message to
the revelers below. That the mussar (ethical reprove) that he was
affording with this action was not born out of irrational behavior
or in anger.
Before smashing the luchos Moshe embraced them, just as a father
hugging a child that he would soon admonish. Because Moshe wanted
to tell us that before we let loose, we have to hold tight.