thank you for sharing your insights, so the question can be
asked, how does one know whether we love love or not?
to noe whether we love love or not, we muz ask ourselves the
following qns...1) r we more interested to receive than to give? 2)
if the person level of love towards us drops over time, will we
stil want to be wif tis person? 3) if someone else who show greater
love comes along, will we leave our current partner n start a r/s
wif tis new person? 4) r we often attracted to wad the person can
do for us than who the person is?
loving love is like taking drugs. u need more n more of it to get
the same amt of satisfaction. tat can perhaps also explain y sex
can be appealing n y ppl hop from one partner to another. so if
someone betta comes along, we may end up starting a r/s wif tis
person cos he/she can meet our needs n pamper us more. its a very
self-serving type of love tat aims onli to benefit oneself at the
expense of others. to put it plainly, its selfish love.
u may argue, well love is selfish...but i would like to qn the
meaning of tis statement. love is se;fish doesnt mean to be selfish
towards ur partner/spouse. it means tat in cases when ur rival is
ur best frend for eg, u wil nt be generous in giving up the one u
love jus cos he/she is ur best frend or is getting on in age n
hence need to find a partner soon. tat is wad is menat by love is
selfish.
if u stil insist tat love is selfish means being selfish even to ur
partner/spouse, then let me ask u, where then is sacrificial love?
to sacrifice means to give up sth precious without expecting
anything in return. u do it willingly. can u be selfishly loving
someone yet be sacrificial towards him/her? can a person who
desires onli to receive give sacrificially without expecting
returns?
we r often attracted to gd acts of kindness n care. when we r down
n tis person of the opposite sex comes along to comfort us, we can
have the false sense of 'love'. in fact, tis feeling is more of
gratitude rather than love. tis is nt saying tat u cun start a r/s
wif tis person. tis person may be someone u truly love however, one
shld take time to examine the frendship. to find out whether the
feelings for tat person is more than gratitude. tat person may have
treated us well at tat period of time cos we were in need. but
he/she may nt treat us the same way once we r out of distress. so
the best thing to do is to take time to examine the frendship, be
in love wif the person for who he/she is. do nt love tat person
solely for wad he/she did for u in the past. tat could be a one-off
experience.
i have seen so many ppl rushing into r/s juz based on a one-off
experience or cos the opposite sex can give them enuff love. they r
nt so interested in whether they love the person or not. some
believe in the lie tat u can start the r/s 1st then build up love
for tis person. while tis may be possible, can anyone guarantee tat
the love will definitely be built up? if theres a guarantee, y is
there an increasing rate in divorces? y nt juz be frends n then see
if the love can be build up. once the love is build up, then we can
start the love r/s. y muz we rush in? tis act of rushing in is
another sign of loving love. being desperately in need to be loved
by others.
to conclude, tis act of loving love has detroyed many r/s. worse,
it may have disillusioned many ppl of the beauty of true love. ppl
say tat true love has extinct. i feel they say such things cos they
have nt loved the rite way. loving love leads to hurt n sufferings
n they will eventually disillusion ppl abt the beauty of true
love...
