Friendship Gone Wrong

breytonhartge SG

No one likes to think about friendships that come to an end, but sometimes this is the necessary course of action. What are some points to consider when you face this decision?

Bontakun SG

Will it benefit both parties should the friendship has to end? Why? If its for the good of either or both parties, why not?

breytonhartge SG

As per the question, if you do have to end a friendship, what are the points that we may want to consider...

Sometimes friendships have to come to an end and when that happens, how can we cope? Friends are part of you, and losing one is like losing part of you, losing a friend is like losing a bit of your identity.

supernard SG

depends on who the friend is

breytonhartge SG

and if it is a really good friend? but then you can ask the question, how do you classify a person as a friend??

Ito_^ SG

i don't know.

personally, i'm not a friendship person. many people come and go in our lives, so i think when friendships end, a la natural.

Bontakun SG

Points to consider...

When we lose a friend:

1. Its as you have said, we lose a part of us, a part of our identity.
2. All the years of friendship and companionship simple halted.
3. Its hard to forget and maybe hard to forgive. Afterall we love our friends right? But because we love them its why we wish them the best of luck and hope instead of hating them.
4. There is no simple way to let it go. We bear with the pain, but gradually time will ease the pain.
5. God has presented us with this ordeal in order for us to grow from it.
6. God wants the best for us and He always has a unique way of doing so. Maybe this is a way to better a person?
7. We die to our old self and a new me is born. Maybe this can be applied to the friendship?

Actually I am not very sure what I said got any link to what you mentioned. I just recall my case with a certain friend of mine. We knew each other for 7 - 8 years. Unfortunately due to a certain issue which I happen to ignnite it, he threw the whole "friendship" right into my face and end it.

Come to think of it, it may be alot better if we ended our friendship because its going nowhere and its hurting both of us more than we can handle.

Confused Neutral

breytonhartge SG

have you ever had friends for longer than 10 years...?

Ito_^ SG

yes. Twisted Evil

breytonhartge SG

This is sad to hear, I have lost a very close friend before and it was pretty bad...

Bontakun SG

Come to think of it, I have no hatred or pity for him. Instead I pray for him to find meaning in his life. With me out of the picture that is...

I can relate to how you feel. I am sorry, bro. I hope you can find the strength and courage to carry on without your friend. Sad

breytonhartge SG

In some ways I have, but in some ways, it has been difficult because we were closer than brothers. Crying or Very sad Thank you for your sympathy...

Bontakun SG

Sad Sad Sad

Chin Eng SG

why and how did you lose this friend?

OasisBlue SG

well its kinda sad that a friendship, especially if u have valued it alot, just come to an end. we just have to accept the fact. Ask in faith and do smth bout it if u really wish the friendship to rekindle. Smile

breytonhartge SG

I am still trying to figure out the why... though its been for a long time now. almost 15 years.

When he left for Medical studies in Ireland, we were still the best of friends. Then he just stopped communications altogether. This still remains a puzzle to me till this day. Crying or Very sad

Chin Eng SG

Do you think that whatever that had existed before he went to Irelend as "friendship"?

My question here is an attempt to define what friendship is.... Wink

breytonhartge SG

yeah we were really close, he would stay over and I would bunk over at his place... and we would always pray for each other talk about the problems we faced and stick up for one another. we went to the same church, the same cell group and shared similar interests and hobbies.

Chin Eng SG

my question is still: in light that this relationship has stopped existing, would you still consider that when two of you were tight, were you "friends"? This question is related to what someone said earlier that friends do not drift apart.

breytonhartge SG

yes we were tight. The fact that the friendship ended does not change the fact that when it existed, we were tight.

true friends 99.9% of the time do not drift apart, but like I said there are the 0.1% of the time when it may happen.