True love
I mentioned earlier the influence that movies, songs and books can
have on our perception of love. At least one love song I know gets
it right. On his album Nothin' but the Taillights, country artist
Clint Black recorded a love song titled "Something That We Do."
Here is one verse from this song:
I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
Love isn't just those words we said
It's something that we do
There's no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn't someplace that we fall
It's something that we do
I like this song because his emphasis isn't on falling in love, but
recognizing that love is much more than a feeling. Love may very
well start with feelings, but it must become something we do, not
just something we feel or something we get.
In Greek, the language of the New Testament, there are three words
for "love." One is eros, which refers to a romantic or sexual love.
Another is philia, which means brotherly love or friendship. And
the third is agape, a broader word used to describe God's
outflowing love.
A good marriage will have all three kinds of love. Romance and
romantic feelings are good and should be a part of a healthy
marriage. But a relationship should not be based just on romantic
feelings. Friendship and companionship with good communication are
also part of a healthy marriage.
But true love goes beyond friendship. True love will have and
demonstrate outflowing, caring love. This is the type of love that
God expresses toward mankind. It is the kind of love that is listed
as part of the fruit of His Spirit in Galatians 5:22.
This kind of love takes time to develop. It goes beyond feelings
and emotions. This true love or outgoing concern means being
willing to set aside our own desires in order to provide for the
needs of the other and to give of ourselves even when the dopamine
and serotonin have settled down and we are back to reality.
Again, it takes time for real love to grow. It doesn't happen at
first sight. It doesn't happen only if or when we find a soul mate,
and it is not something we fall into.
Notice what the apostle Paul says about true love in 1 Corinthians
13:4-7: "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love
does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely,
does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not
rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
This is outgoing love. Notice that this love does not seek its own.
This means not focusing on self nor on what you can get out of a
relationship, but on what you have to give and contribute to a
relationship.
continued...
