By Simon Bird
Liverpool v Newcastle
3:45 am mio :
102 / 110 (Sat Morning)
The laws of the football Gods dictate that Andy Carroll
will miraculously return to his swash-bucking, goal-scoring former
self against his old club Newcastle on Friday night.
But I doubt handing the club he loves, the club that banked
£35million in return for handing him over 11 months ago, a black
eye (to use a topical metaphor) will actually delight the die-hard
Geordie.
Carroll's attachment to his native Tyneside is still strong.
Some claim he's even homesick (if that's possible when he's living
only 180 miles away).
But a goal, or at the very least a bullish performance, will
certainly be a way of signaling to Merseyside, and the army of
Liverpool fans, that he can make a meaningful contribution to the
Anfield cause over the next few years.
The latest Carroll joke goes like this:
Breaking news.... Andy Carroll has been handed an eight-game run
in the Liverpool team by the FA. Anfield chiefs are set to
appeal.
The Geordie fans prefer to look at the raw stats.
Carroll at Liverpool - five goals in 29 appearances.
Demba Ba, his replacement (on a free transfer) at Newcastle - 14
league goals in his last 14 games.
Let's get one thing straight. Carroll was never worth £35m (£30m
of which went straight into Newcastle's bank account) 11 months
ago. And he never will be worth £35m.
That inflated fee came about only because of the (now also
ludicrous looking) £50m Chelsea were prepared to pay Liverpool for
Fernando Torres.
And it came about because of the supreme, hard-nosed,
taking-the-**** business brinkmanship of Newcastle owner Mike
Ashley.
Ashley is maligned for many things, but he screwed Liverpool out
of an amazing fee for a 21-year-old with just one decent
Championship campaign and half a good season in the top flight to
his name.
Unfortunately, Carroll (who despite his wild-boy reputation, is,
when sober, a quiet lad with a gentle smile and modest outlook) is
now stuck with the accolade of being Britain's most expensive
footballer. One who is struggling to find his niche at Anfield.
On Wednesday, it will have been a year since Carroll played his
last game for the Geordies, against Spurs. He was on a run of four
goals in five games. He had bagged 11 in 21.
After being flown to Liverpool on transfer deadline day in
Ashley's personal helicopter, he netted two in nine appearances
last season after shaking off his thigh injury and has added only
three in 20 this term.
Why is that?
Sceptics can point to his fondness for a drink - how long can
that last before the athletic sharpness is blunted, we ask? No
amount of going to Boyzone concerts with Kenny Dalglish will cure
the lad's thirst.
A bigger problem is that Liverpool are not set up around
Carroll's strengths.
The Newcastle of last season were - long balls were thrown up to
him, he bullied, chased and battered defenders and scored some
great headed goals.
Liverpool's play is far more subtle (as is the evolving
Newcastle side's this season, by the way) and he has fewer chances
to use his physical attributes.
That is the puzzling thing about the fee Liverpool paid. Should
they really have forked out so much if they did not have a plan for
getting the best out of Carroll?
Maybe we will see those tactics emerge now he has the chance of
a run in the side.
It all begs the question: Would Newcastle want Carroll back?
From what we hear, he would love to be back there. One day. He
has not given up on being a Geordie No9 in black and white stripes.
One day.
The fact is, he'd be welcomed home with open arms by most fans -
as long as he kept the off-field troubles that were a bane at
bay.
True, he quadrupled his salary in going to Liverpool (wages
Newcastle were, and still are, unable to match), and he was going
to a club with a superb heritage and more trophy-winning
potential.
But this was not a money-grabbing move on the player's
behalf.
I believe he was caught up in the business of football - a
commodity to be traded between Newcastle (desperate for the cash),
Liverpool (desperate to show ambition with Torres gone) and agents
(desperate for their cut).
Of course Carroll has benefited financially from that. It has
set him up for life.
But I reckon that had it been a simple question of where he
wanted to play, Carroll would have soldiered on very
happily as his hometown club's No9.
And that is why I'm sure Andy Carroll will get a warm reception
from the travelling support at Anfield on Friday.
They'd have him back in a flash.
And what a team Newcastle would be, with him spearheading the
attack (instead of barren Leon Best), Ba looking slippery beside
him and Hatem Ben Arfa coming back to form.
Yes, Newcastle have missed you, Andy.
But probably not as much as you have missed Newcastle.
