And by that, Matthew Stanger means that while it's a disease,
it's one that can be treated easily. To borrow from The Daily Mail,
there are worse things to complain about...
A good dive can enhance the enjoyment of the game
but Suarez's tumble was only a poorly executed 6.5
There's little truth in Paul Scharner's claim that Luis Suarez
took a 'nice dive' to win Liverpool's penalty against West Brom on
Saturday. In reality, Suarez's tumble was only a poorly executed
6.5. Where were the delicate twists? The spectacular rolls? Nice?
Pfft.
For all Scharner's sour grapes and the furore over Suarez's
perceived inability to stay on his feet, what is so offensive about
diving, or to use FIFA's official term 'simulation'?
Perhaps stimulation would be a better word - it may not be a
view shared by many, but a good dive can enhance the enjoyment of
the game. It's a talking point, something to disagree over and
complain about. And football fans love a moan.
Cast your mind back to the 1990 World Cup Final. The first 45
minutes were dire - if only England were playing (sorry, not you
Gazza).
Argentina make a change at half-time, replacing the imperious
Oscar Ruggeri with Pedro Monzon.
The game is now 65 minutes in, Jurgen Klinsmann is haring down
the right. Monzon slides in, Klinsmann leaps into the air, avoiding
all contact. He crashes to the ground, squirming, screaming,
writhing in agony.
He juts his legs out towards the night sky. Remember those legs
- a stunning example of diving mastery.
Monzon receives a straight red card, the first player ever to be
sent off in a World Cup Final. Klinsmann makes a miraculous
recovery, West Germany win 1-0 and the greatest goalscoring
celebration of all time has arrived. It was the main talking point
in an otherwise unremarkable game.
Should we have felt sorry for Argentina for the clear injustice
that cost them a fair chance in the World Cup Final? Or is diving a
common trait exhibited in all teams at one stage or another - see
Diego Simeone's gesticulation towards the referee before falling to
the ground after Beckham's trip in 1998.
As many managers and players have declared in the past, diving
is a disease. And it's contagious - once a player sees another get
away with it, they become more tempted to do it themselves. There
was a time when no one would have thought Steven Gerrard was a
diver, but over the course of his career his acts of simulation
have increased in frequency.
In the grand scheme of diseases, however, diving is only on a
par with chlamydia. Once you know you've got it, it can be treated
pretty quickly and everything soon cools down.
Although players may get away with the occasional dive, extended
highlights and internet videos result in them quickly gaining a
reputation as a sinful simulator. They are punished through social
justice (the derision by fans), are noted by referees, and are
warned by their own managers behind closed doors. There are very
few repeat offenders, so what's the problem?
To steal a line from The Daily Mail, things may not be perfect
but, at the end of the day, there are worse things to complain
about. An appalling sentiment when referring to racism, but when it
comes to diving, it rings true.
A good dive can enhance the enjoyment of the game but
