If Kaká belongs to Jesus, you could be forgiven for
believing that the rest of Real Madrid's players now belong to
Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo was deified by the Spanish press
after his starring role in Real Madrid's 6-2 win over
Villarreal.
God moves in mysterious ways. Theatrically,
dramatically. Beautifully, brutally. Head held high, neck extended,
shoulders back, spine straight, lips pursed. Chest heaving. Up,
pause for effect, down again, air escaping His lungs, blowing
sailboats to shore. A prelude, a performance, pulling the world
towards Him before striking with great vengeance and furious anger.
The hush became awe. Wonder. Let there be light, preferably a
spotlight – and, lo, there was light! A flash and a thunderbolt
scorched across the sky, ripping past Diego López. If Guti boasted
the
"heel of
God" as Real Madrid
finally won at Riazor three weeks ago, Cristiano Ronaldo
boasted His destructive power as they defeated Villarreal
last night.
The Word of God is the word down Madrid's way. Iker
Casillas has long been Saint Iker, "a fallen angel" with the hands
of God. As one column-writing loon put it: "the day he
came to earth, light shone upon his house like at the gate of
Bethlehem when Christ was born." When David Beckham joined Madrid a
particularly sycophantic suitor described him as "arriving
barefoot, like Christ". And from the day Ronaldo took the same
path, these most devout zealots have had him down as a candidate
for beatification, his qualities exalted, his failings excused.
Meanwhile, across the Spanish divide, Sport declared that Christ's
address at the Sea of Galilee was, in fact, "a prophecy of Leo
Messi". But this was something else. Something bigger. This was
deification.
Last night God Himself appeared before the Santiago Bernabéu.
Shiny faced, oily-haired, pouting and dressed in a Madrid shirt but
God nonetheless. "Yesterday," opens AS's match report, "Cristiano
was not just Cristiano but the whole of Christianity." Marca's
cover, meanwhile, declared: "God came dressed as CR9".
The heel of God? Bah! The hands of God? So what?! Ronaldo has
His creation, His omnipotence, His omnipresence. The whole package.
Perfect teeth. Nice smell. A class act all the way. Today, Ronaldo
is God. Not because, as in Richard Dawkins's famous
description, he's the most unpleasant character in all fiction:
jealous and proud of it, petty, unjust, unforgiving, a malevolent
bully, capricious and megalomaniacal. But because last night
Ronaldo was omnipresent and all-powerful, the creator supreme, an
irresistible force as Madrid hammered Villarreal 6-2 to go back
within two points of Barcelona, climb above them in terms of goals
scored and rack up a 12th win out of 12 at home.
He was God because he "made" and scored the first, tumbling over
and then belting in a free-kick so good, so quick, so vicious in
its sudden dip, that one radio station began a search to find it a
name to go with Cruyff Turns and Panenka Penalties. Because He
created the third for Gonzalo Higuaín, racing down the right wing
to slide a perfect first-time ball across. Because He laid the
fifth on a plate for Kaká, wriggling through the challenges to
leave the Brazilian one-on-one with López. And because He made the
sixth for Xabi Alonso, cutting inside from the right and getting
brought down for the penalty that He – very, very reluctantly and
not without storming off the pitch in a strop at the end – let the
former Liverpool midfielder take to score his first goal for the
club.
As one editorial inevitably put it, Madrid won and convinced –
they managed to "vencer" and
"convencer", which is
still the task before them. Alonso played superbly, Marcelo
terrified Villarreal every time he advanced and Higuaín got two
more goals to give him 14, twice as many as Karim Benzema. But few
noticed because last night was all about Cristiano Ronaldo; last
night, he was everywhere and everything, dashing down the line,
crashing to the turf, lashing at the ball, sprinting after lost
causes, resuscitating moves, utterly engrossing, utterly
all-encompassing. If Kaká belongs to Jesus, you could be forgiven
for believing that the rest of the team belongs to Ronaldo.
Ronaldo was absolutely unbelievable; a whirlwind awarded four
marks by AS. Out of three. Just before midnight in the cold
concrete corridor of the stadium, a Villarreal player shook his
head sadly and blew out his cheeks. "When he's playing like this,"
he said. "Ronaldo is completely unstoppable. Truly
incredible."
"His performance can be summed up in just one word," insisted
one Tomás Guasch: "¡olé!" Raising his eyebrows, the Villarreal
goalkeeper López used as many to describe the free-kick that set
Madrid on their way: "whoosh!" El País's headline simply called Him
a "colossus." Most, though, were using rather more words. "One day,
he'll win the ball, cross it in and head it home himself," claimed
El Mundo. "Apart from the absurd paraphernalia that accompanies his
free-kicks, he was impeccable. As well as shooting, taking the
free-kicks, building the plays and giving passes, Cristiano Ronaldo
is also the one that folds up the shirts, cleans the boots and cuts
the grass. The only thing left for him to do is man the ticket
office," wrote Roberto Palomar in Marca, "Ronaldo did everything.
His activity was such that his team-mates just get in the way."