1. Ali Dia (Southampton)
DIA may be a truly rubbish footballer but he's one of
the best conmen in the business! The striker arrived in 1996 after
convincing Graeme Souness that he came highly recommended by none
other than George Weah.
Dia claimed he had it all — he could dribble past the
best defenders and had pace to burn. Having talked himself up
sufficiently to be handed a trial, Dia won a place on the bench as
the Saints took on Leeds at the Dell.
Souness gambled by taking Matt Le Tissier off and
throwing on Dia. The substitute missed an open goal and lasted just
16 minutes before being hauled off by his furious manager. Funnily
enough, he was never seen in a red and white shirt again.
2. Marco Boogers (West Ham)
BARMY Boogers joined the Hammers for £750,000 from
Sparta Rotterdam in July 1995. Much was expected of the Dutch
striker but his time with the club was short-lived to say the
least.
In just his second appearance, Boogers came on as a
substitute against Manchester United at Old Trafford. Yet he
shouldn't have bothered taking his tracksuit top off as a horror
two-footed lunge at Gary Neville saw him sent off.
Thoroughly humiliated and depressed following his short
outing at the Theatre of Dreams, Boogers disappeared back to
Holland.
3. Winston Bogarde (Chelsea)
BOGARDE'S CV reads like a dream — Ajax, AC Milan and
Barcelona are just three of the clubs he has played for. The
left-footed Dutchman wandered into Stamford Bridge at the start of
the 2000-2001 season, reportedly on the recommendation of fellow
Holland international Mario Melchiot.
The only problem was that Blues boss Luca Vialli did
not even know about the move. The writing was already on the wall
for Vialli but poor old 'Humphrey' was still left out in the cold
when Claudio Ranieri arrived at the Bridge.
Ranieri wanted rid yet Bogarde clung on for dear life
and managed to twiddle his thumbs until his lucrative contract
expired in 2004.
4. Titus Bramble (Newcastle and everyone else
he has played for)
SOMEWHAT unbelievably, Bramble normally has a cult
status with the fans of whichever poor club he turns up at. Bramble
has everything required to be one of English football's finest
defenders. The only problem is he is prone to make the odd gaffe or
six on a regular basis.
Newcastle paid £5million for his services and he was
paired at the heart of the Toon defence with Jean-Alain Boumsong.
Now, you can make your own jokes about the duo, but the fact they
widely were known as the Chuckle Brothers says it all.
The burly bloke still earns a good living playing for
Wigan, where he gives Steve Bruce plenty of food for thought...
5. Tomas Brolin (Leeds)
BROLIN, who also made it into our list of top 10 fat
footballers, was simply a joke by the time he waddled into Elland
Road in 1995. George Graham paid £4.5million for the man who scored
for Sweden against England at Euro 92 — leaving Parma laughing all
the way to the bank.
Out of shape and struggling for form, poor old Brolin
made just 19 appearances for Leeds before being shipped out on loan
to Swiss club FC Zurich. The Swede refused to return when the deal
expired and Leeds eventually paid him off.
But Brolin wasn't done with English football, far from
it. Poor old Crystal Palace signed him and he was equally useless
for them.
6. Ramon Vega (Tottenham)
VEGA and Tottenham were the perfect match — a rubbish
defender playing for a club everyone loves to hate. Christian Gross
(remember him?) inherited the Swiss international from the
charismatic Gerry Francis, who had signed him from Cagliari for
£2.5million in 1997.
He always worked hard but the Spurs faithful never took
to him — and the fact he conceded a needless penalty during a 3-0
thumping at Chelsea hardly helped matters!
As Ron Noades, who was then Brentford chairman/manager,
said ahead of a cup tie: "You always know you have a chance when
you see Ramon Vega run out. Wise words indeed from a man who is
completely crackers!
7. Sean Dundee (Liverpool)
YOU would be forgiven for thinking that Dundee was one
of the rubbish foreign imports signed by Gerard Houllier during his
spell in charge at Anfield. But the blame for throwing £2million
down the drain lies squarely at the feet of Roy Evans.
Amazingly, Evans swooped for Dundee after he had
notched the breathtaking total of THREE goals in
one whole season as Karlsruhe crashed out of the Bundesliga.
Unsurprisingly, the striker never managed to find the
net for Liverpool and was quickly packed off to Stuttgart.
8. Michele Padovano (Crystal
Palace)
WHEN Crystal Palace announced they were signing a
striker from Juventus, the Selhurst faithful rejoiced. Their joy
was dampened slightly when they discovered the man in question,
Padovano, had provided little more than back-up for the Serie A
giants.
But the fans kept the faith and hoped the £1.7million
chairman Mark Goldberg splashed on his services would be money well
spent. The only problem was that he started just eight matches and
never played more than two in a row for the Eagles.
Padovano departed on a free transfer to Metz in 1998
and, by that time, Goldberg had bankrupted himself by pumping
around £25million into Palace.
9. Massimo Taibi (Manchester
United)
UNITED fans look away now — this is one player you may
not wish to remember. Highly-rated Taibi moved to Old Trafford from
Italian side Venezia for £4.4million in 1999.
But the keeper endured a nightmare stay — highlighted
by a howler against Southampton when he let a Matt Le Tissier
strike nutmeg him. Things got worse for the hapless Italian when he
was blamed for two of the five goals United leaked during a
humiliating away day at Chelsea.
Needless to say, Taibi was not missed when he joined
Reggina after making just four appearances for Alex Ferguson's
side.
10. Frank Sinclair (Leicester)
IN fairness, many Chelsea fans will tell you Sinclair
doesn't deserve to make our top 10. He won the FA Cup and the
European Cup Winners' Cup with the Blues — and even scored at
Wembley as Luca Vialli's side lifted the League Cup.
But it all went a bit pear shape for Sinclair when he
joined Leicester. Two own goals in just three games at the start of
the 1999-2000 season did not endear him to the Leicester faithful —
especially as one of them gifted Chelsea a point at Filbert
Street.
Sinclair's last game for the Foxes saw him chop down
Thierry Henry to hand Arsenal a decisive penalty.
