Hey guys, I will be starting this thread to spread awareness on
Dating Violence.
This is not govt-initiated but rather, because I am
working on this campaign, I thought it will be good if I could post
this on the forums.
All of you are free to respond or air your opinions
regarding this issue but I hope the posts will stay relevant and
constructive.
If you have problems and want to talk privately, you can
contact the hotlines provided.
Lastly, the campaign will be going to the schools and will be
distributing free mouse pads as well as showcasing
some exhibits so pls support!
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What is Dating
Violence?
Dating violence
is a pattern of
overcontrolling behaviour used against a
girlfriend or boyfriend.
It manifests in
various forms including
psychological/emotional abuse, physical
abuse, and sexual abuse.
In a nutshell,
it is not love!
Forms of Dating
Violence
1)
Emotional Abuse
-
hurling insults or swearing at you
-
belittling you
-
threatening or terrorizing you
-
destroying your property or possessions
-
isolating you from friends and relatives
-
being irrationally possessive
-
extreme jealousy from partner
2)
Physical Abuse
-
shoving
-
slapping
-
punching
-
kicking
-
hair pulling
-
using/threatening you with a weapon
-
forcibly confining you
3)
Sexual Abuse
-
unwanted sexual touching
-
forcing you to consent to sexual activity
-
rape or attempted rape
-
having intercourse with you while you are under the influence
of alcohol or
drugs
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Victim – Are You
One?
Many people
don’t recgonise that they are in an abusive relationship. They
don’t realize how they have gradually changed because of the abuse.
If the answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you may be a
victim of dating violence.
-
Are you constantly questioned by your partner on your whereabouts,
phone calls and conversations?
-
Are you constantly criticized, insulted or threatened by your
partner?
-
Has your partner grabbed, pushed, slapped or hit you when
angry?
-
Has your partner forced you to engage in sexual activities under
the threat of physical harm/persistent
pressure?
-
Has your partner urged you to drink alcohol excessively or consume
drugs?
-
Has your partner threatened to commit suicide or cause self-harm to
you, self or others (eg, “If you leave me, I will never let you be
with someone else”)?
-
Have you been fearful of your partner’s behaviour and reactions to
your conversations and activities?
-
Have you been at the mercy of your partner who insists on
controlling your movements and your
money/possessions?
-
Have you felt anxious but afraid to end this relationship for fear
of your life or safety?
-
Have you been forced to keep away from close family and
friends?
Let’s Get Real - Myths and
Facts About Violence
MYTH: Jealousy is a sign of
love.
FACT: Jealousy is the most
common reason for assaults in dating relationships. When a man
continually accuses a woman of flirting or having an affair, he is
possessive and controlling.
MYTH: When a woman gets hit by
her partner, she must have provoked him in some
way.
FACT: No one deserves to be hit.
Whether or not there was provocation, violence is always wrong and
should not be condoned.
MYTH: Men cannot control their
sexual urges, and if a woman gets her date sexually aroused, she
deserves what she gets.
FACT: Men can control themselves
and women have a right over their bodies. Forcing sex on a partner
is illegal. When a woman says NO or NO MORE, then the man should
stop.
MYTH: Maybe things will get
better.
FACT: Once the violence starts,
it usually escalates without some kind of intervention. Waiting and
hoping for change is not a good strategy, Partners in an abusive
relationship need help to break out of the cycle of
violence.
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Where to get
help?
You have the power to take the first step to
change your circumstances. If you are concerned about your
behaviour or your partner’s behaviour, speak to a counselor or
social worker today.
1) Centre for Promoting Alternatives
to Violence (PAVe)
T: 6555 0390
www.pavecentre.org.sg
2)
[email protected]
T: 6449 9088
www.transcentre.org.sg
3) Family Service Centre
Helpline
T: 1800 838 0100
4) Samaritans of Singapore
T: 1800 221 4444
In case of immediate threat to life,
call the Police at 999.
Visit www.family.gov.sg/stopfamilyviolence
for more info.
