Joe Kinnear Which one is Simon Bird [Daily
Mirror's north-east football writer]?
Simon Bird Me.
JK You're a c**t.
SB Thank you.
JK Which one is Hickman [Niall, football writer
for the Express]? You are out of order. Absolutely f**king out of
order. If you do it again, I am telling you you can f**k off and go
to another ground. I will not come and stand for that f**king crap.
No f**king way, lies. F**k, you're saying I turned up and they
[Newcastle's players] f**ked off.
SB No Joe, have you read it, it doesn't
actually say that. Have you read it?
JK I've f**king read it, I've read it.
SB It doesn't say that. Have you read it?
JK You are trying to f**king undermine my
position already.
SB Have you read it, it doesn't say that. I
knew you knew they were having a day off.
JK F**k off. F**k off. It's your last f**king
chance.
SB You read the copy? It doesn't say that you
didn't know.
JK What about the headline, you think that's a
good headline?
SB I didn't write the headline, you read the
copy.
JK You are negative b**tards, the pair of
you.
SB So if I get a new job next week would I take
the first day off? No I wouldn't. If I get a new job should I call
my boss and tell him I am taking the first day off?
JK It is none of your f**king business. What
the f**k are you going to do? You ain't got the balls to be a
f**king manager. F**king day off. Do I want your opinion. Do I have
to listen to you?
SB No, you can listen to who you want.
JK I had a 24-hour meeting with the entire
staff.
SB Joe, you are only here six weeks, you could
have done that on Sunday, or Saturday night.
JK No, no, no. I didn't want to do it. I had
some other things to do.
SB What? More important things?
JK What are you? My personal secretary? F**k
off.
SB You could have done the meeting Saturday
night or Sunday. You could have had them watching videos, you could
have organised them.
JK I was meeting the f**king chairman the
owner, everyone else. Talking about things.
SB It is a valid point that was made in there.
A valid point.
JK I can't trust any of you.
Niall Hickman Joe, no one could believe that on
your first day at your new club, the first-team players were not
in. No one could believe it in town. Your first day in the
office.
JK My first day was with the coaches. I made
the decision that I wanted to get as much information out of
them.
NH But why Monday, no one could believe it?
JK I'm not going to tell you anything. I don't
understand where you are coming from. You are delighted that
Newcastle are getting beat and are in the state they are?
Delighted, are you?
NH Certainly not. No one wants to see them get
beaten, why would we?
JK I have done it before. It is going to my
f**king lawyers. So are about three others. If they can find
something in it that is a court case it is going to court. I am not
f**king about. I don't talk to f**king anybody. It is raking up
stories. You are f**king so f**king slimy you are raking up players
that I got rid of. Players that I had fallen out with. You are not
asking Robbie Earle, because he is sensible. You are not asking
Warren Barton? No. Because he is f**king sensible. Anyone who had
played for me for 10 years at any level ... [but] you will find
some c**t that ...
Other journalist How long is your contract for
Joe?
JK None of your business.
SB Well it is actually, because we cover the
club. The club say you are here to the end of October, then you say
six to eight games which would take it to the end of November. We
are trying to clarify these issues. We are getting no straight
answers from anyone. How long are you here for. It is a dead simple
question. And you don't know ...
JK I was told the length of contract. Then I
was told that possibly the club could be sold in that time. That is
as far as I know. That's it finished. I don't know anything else.
But I have been ridiculed. He's trying to f**king hide, he's trying
to do this or that.
There follows an exchange regarding the circumstances under
which Kinnear had met the owner Mike Ashley and executive director
(football) Dennis Wise.
Steve Brenner (football writer for the Sun) We
are all grown men and can come in here and sit around and talk
about football, but coming in here and calling people c**ts?
JK Why? Because I am annoyed. I am not
accepting that. If it is libellous, it is going to where I want it
to go.
Newcastle press officer What has been said in
here is off the record and doesn't go outside.
Journalist Well, is that what Joe thinks?
JK Write what you like. Makes no difference to
me. Don't affect me I assure you. It'll be the last time I see you
anyway. Won't affect me. See how we go at Everton and Chrissy
[Chris Hughton, assistant manager] can do it, someone else can do
it. Don't trust any of yous. I will pick two local papers and speak
to them and the rest can f**k off. I ain't coming up here to have
the piss taken out of me. I have a million pages of crap that has
been written about me. I'm ridiculed for no reason. I'm
defenceless. I can't get a point in, I can't say nothing, I can't
do nothing, but I ain't going to be negative. Then, half of you,
most of you are trying to get into the players. I'm not going to
tell you what the players think of you, so then you try and get
into them in some way or another, so I've got a split camp or
something like that, something like that. It's ongoing. It just
doesn't stop.
Journalist It's only been a week.
JK Exactly. It feels more like a year.
Journalist It's early days for you to be like
this.
JK No, I'm clearing the air. And this is the
last time I'm going to speak to you. You want to know why, I'm
telling you. This is the last time. You can do what you like.
Journalist But this isn't going to do you or us
any good.
JK I'll speak to the supporters. I'm going to
tell them what the story is. I'm going to tell them. I don't think
they'll interpret it any different, I don't think they'll mix it
up, I don't think they'll miss out things. I mean, one of them last
week said to me ... I was talking about in that press conference
where you were there, I said something like "Well, that's a load of
bollocks ..."
Journalist "Bollocks to that" is what you
said.
JK Bollocks to that. And what goes after
that?
Journalist That was it.
JK No it wasn't, no it wasn't. What was after
it? I don't know if it was your paper, but what went after it?
Journalist I don't know.
JK It even had the cheek to say "bollocks to
Newcastle".
Journalist I didn't write that.
JK That was my first f**king day. What does
that tell you? What does that tell you?
Journalist Where was that? Which paper said
that?
JK I've got it. I can't remember. It was one of
the Sundays, not a Saturday. It was a Sunday.
Journalist But you didn't say that to the
Sundays, you said that to us. That was during the Monday press
conference.
JK I'll bring it in and show it to you. Why
would I want to say that?
Journalist Are you saying that someone has
reported you saying "bollocks to Newcastle?"
JK Yes. Lovely.
Journalist I don't know who's reported
that.
JK I'll tell you what, I'll bring it in.
Journalist That's obviously going to damage
you. That's not a good thing. But I don't think someone's done
that. We have to have some sort of relationship with you.
JK So have I. But I haven't come in here for
you lot to take the piss out of me. And if I'm not flavour of the
month for you, it don't f**king bother me. I've got a job to do.
And I'm going to do it to the best of my ability. I'm not going to
spend any more time listening to any crap or reading any crap.
Stick to the truth and the facts. And don't twist anything.
Journalist You know, you know
the game ...
JK Of course I know, but I don't have to like
it.
Journalist Today we'll print the absolute
truth, that you think we're c**ts, we can all f**k off and we're
slimy. Is that fair enough?
JK Do it. Fine. F**king print it. Am I going to
worry about it? Put in also that it'll be the last time I see you.
Put that in as well. Good. Do it.
Much, much later after long discussions over whether
Kinnear had promised Alan Shearer and Kevin Keegan would be
returning to the club
Press officer Let's get on to football. Let's
have an agreement that everything said so far, if anyone has got
their tapes on, it's wiped off and we're not discussing it.
Journalist But that's what Joe has said he
thinks of us.
Press officer I'm saying don't push it. Let's
accept what's been said and try and move on.
Journalist: Move on to not doing any more press
conferences?
PO: No, to doing something now.
Journalist: What, one press conference
only?
(Silence)
Journalist: Any knocks?
PO: Come on, let's go football.
Journalist: What are your plans for training in
the next three days? How's the training going?
JK It's going very well. No problems at
all.
Journalist Enjoyed getting back in the swing of
things?
JK Absolutely. I've loved every moment of
it.