Well Vanilla Cake, I have been where you are and quite frankly,
it hurts like shit I know.
It took me a while to realise that an online relationship is
just that: an online relationship. The FURTHEST it can ever go, is
probably deep philosophical debate or sexting. From what you have
written, you have only followed her through instagram, and
communicated with her solely through text messages. (Correct me if
I am wrong, but I will just assume this for now)
When two people chat only through text messages, each person
formulates a 'personality' about the other person in their own
minds. Since you followed her instagram, you have created this
girl's personality in your mind by mixing it with the impressions
you get while looking at her instagram posts.
Bear in mind, instagram is used primarily for publicity purposes
- girls normally post only to show the world their positive side,
or what they want the world to believe they are. Text messages may
be deleted/edited/reviewed before sending, so each message can be
easily crafted to sound the best.
What you have right now my friend, is that you like the
IMPRESSION of this girl that you have formulated in your mind based
on her outputs to you, which is all very positive based on the
media. It's nice to be romantic, but in all honesty, the impression
may not even match what she is in reality.
To resolve these feelings, you two need to meet and interact. Do
not assume she is the girl that you have formulated in your mind.
If she refuses by all means to grant your request to meet and chat
IRL, then do not allow yourself to fall in love with this
formulated impression in your mind, and move on.
If you do manage to meet, chances are you will have a totally
new impression based on proper human interaction, and then you can
re-evaluate how you feel about her again. If she doesn't match up
to your impression of her, then you can think about what she means
to you again.
If you go through all that and she DOES match up with your
impression of her after you meet her maybe more than once, then I
AM SORRY MY FRIEND, you have a big problem known to man that is
called FALLING IN LOVE. Come back here for a re-evaluation. lol
Good luck dude. Update us on your progress!
Edit: I realised you said she is overseas now. Since you can't
meet now, try to arrange to meet once she gets back. In the
meantime, don't stop being her friend, but control yourself
(remember, she's an impression) and continue making friends in
Singapore. The one thing about human interaction is that you are
naturally forced to be nice to people you just meet (unless you are
an asshole), so it serves as a very good distraction. Try making
new friends and cheering them up if you are feeling shit, it
works!
oh so you saying to make this feeling go away i have to meet up
with her? she mentioned to me that she is coming back within a
later months. Ok I'm not sure if this is a sign or something but i
did told her that i want to meet her if its possible. And if she
dont want to meet me, she will not answer that she is coming back..
am i right? or wrong? sorry. im just curious.
my impression of her in my mind is like i said, basically the
whole package. Unless if i meet her in real life and she is not
what i pictured it to be, i may wasting my time but till then, it's
all worth it.. whatever it takes for me to get rid of these "heart
pain" feeling.