I partially agree with xenaleebaby.
Many people think that God only do good things to people but
failed to understand that not so good things are created into your
life to mould your character. I had a long troubled relationship
which sets me into depression. Although I married late at 38, I
have a wonderful wife and 2 great kids, a blessing that God has
given to me.
IWe often hear about people saying move on, come on , he/she is
not worth your time , the grass is greener on the other
side............etc
And if you are not heeding their advice or not doing what seems
popular or "right" then you are stupid, deserve the punishment,
etc. I think we can exercise more empathy and restrain our
judgement first by listening to their story.
We lived in a fast paced society where information are coming to
us from all over the place. To process this information, our brain
will selectively choose what we want to retain and discard the
rest.
Each of us is created differently by God or evolution or
whatever you choose to believe in. Some are more resilient when
they meet with hardships in life while others may not be as strong.
It is at this stage that they need emotional support, a listening
ear, a holding hand and encouragement.
It was said that if you begin to tell a lie to yourself each day
, every day for 90 days, you would accept that lie as truth.
Similiarly, if a person who has went through a bad patch in their
relationship and think enough is enough and not wanting to EVER
begin a relationship with anyone, then it will take some time
before they could turn around.
The human is a fascinating creature, capable of protecting
itself from harm of any sort. So this inner wall was meant to
prevent subsequent hurt to the heart. That was the right thing to
do. And often I told my clients not to start a new relationship
after their break-off.
Nobody can tells you 100% what works in your relationship as
each of us has our own sets of values, beliefs and perspectives
about it. Personally, I think the foundation to building a joyful
and meaningful relationship begins with authenticity, compassion
and responsibilities among others.
Love is a wonderful thing. The journey is not only about
discovering your other half but also revealing a part of you that
you do not know.
Love always
Desmond