YOU PAID HOW MUCH?
Make an inspired signing and there is a rush to claim the credit.
Make an unsatisfactory buy and there is a doubt who was actually
responsible: was it the manager, chairman, director of football or
Pini Zahavi?
The 2006-7 season has been, in common with its predecessors,
notable for some recruits everyone regrets. There are enough that
Soccernet's top 10 does not include Aston Villa's underwhelming
Stilian Petrov or Newcastle's underachieving Damien Duff.
There wasn't room for all of Manchester City's goal-shy forwards or
any of Watford's legion of nonentities. So, without further ado,
the chosen 10 are:
10. Robert Huth (Middlesbrough, £6 million)
Does Gareth Southgate suffer from low self-esteem? It is one
conclusion to be drawn from his repeated attempts by one of the
most accomplished defenders of his generation to replace himself
with Huth. After the saga of his eventual signing, the giant German
has missed much of the season.
Meanwhile, Jonathan Woodgate and Emanuel Pogatetz have established
themselves as an outstanding partnership, and Southgate now has
himself a £6 million substitute.
9. Khalid Boulahrouz (Chelsea, £7 million)
Chelsea's No. 9 is also ours. If the sight of a defender wearing
what once was Hernan Crespo, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink and Kerry
Dixon's number, Boulahrouz's presence in the Chelsea rearguard is
little less unusual. That Jose Mourinho preferred midfielder
Michael Essien was instructive and his belated recall of Boulahrouz
showed why.
His clumsiness resulted in the concession of a penalty to Arsenal
on Sunday and his own dismissal. It explained why it was only the
Dutchman's second Premiership start in four months. So, too, did
his mauling at the hands of Everton's Victor Anichebe and Wigan's
Emile Heskey before then. The consequence is that Chelsea have only
had two specialist central defenders they could count upon.
8. Carlton Cole (West Ham, £2 million)
An average of around two Premiership goals a season is, if you are
a striker, scarcely grounds for recruitment. Nevertheless, Alan
Pardew opted for Cole's clear potential and ignored his regular
droughts when taking him to Upton Park last summer. By Cole's
standards, it has been an average season.
He opened his West Ham account a minute into his debut against
Charlton, but since then a solitary goal has followed and his
tendency towards ineffectiveness has surfaced, playing a minimal
role in West Ham's bid to avert relegation. Alan Curbishley has
criticised his predecessor's summer signings, and he presumably had
Cole in mind.
7. Gabriel Paletta (Liverpool, £2 million)
Being part of a Liverpool defence that has conceded both five and
six goals in one match is something of a rarity, yet Gabriel
Paletta's performances mean it is no unwanted coincidence that he
was present on both occasions.
The young Argentine's culpability in goals in his last two
appearances - the defeats to Fulham and Portsmouth may be
indicative of his unfortunate ability to spread panic in the
Liverpool defence.
Proof came earlier with the 5-0 pre-season defeat to Mainz and the
6-3 loss to Arsenal. In Liverpool's Carling Cup elimination, he
contrived to make Jeremie Aliadiere appear Thierry Henry's
superior. Rafael Benitez has numerous reasons to be grateful for
Jamie Carragher's dependability and fine fitness record. The
prospect of Paletta deputising ranks high among them.
6. Javier Mascherano (West Ham, loan)
The arrival of one of the World Cup's finest midfielders presented
successive West Ham managers with a dilemma. Should they a) pick
him? Or b) not?. Both Alan Pardew and Alan Curbishley opted for the
latter, preferring the lesser talents of Nigel Reo-Coker, Hayden
Mullins and later Nigel Quashie.
Indeed, Curbishley scarcely seemed aware of the Argentine's
existence. Admittedly, West Ham did not even score with Mascherano
on the pitch, but that hardly amounted to a long period of time. To
extend the tale of mismanagement, West Ham incurred a £5.5 million
fine for fielding Mascherano while ineligible, in a case that could
yet go to court.
5. Djimi Traore (Charlton, £2 million)
The most inauspicious of beginnings epitomised Traore's Charlton
career.
Sent off, albeit unfortunately, in the derby defeat to West Ham, he
was rapidly ushered out by Alan Pardew, his third manager in six
months at The Valley at a loss of £1 million, or almost £100,000
per game.
Traore accounts for £2 million of the £11 million spent by Iain
Dowie last summer and, given the inadequacy of Amdy Faye and Jimmy
Floyd Hasselbaink, plus the slow start Souleymane Diawara made, it
says something that he ranks as the worst buy.
4. Bernardo Corradi (Manchester City, £1
million)
Goals outnumber red cards, but it is a close-run thing. In a season
when Manchester City's strikers have become a laughing stock and
where season-ticket holders have been unable to celebrate a goal
since they were feeling the effects of their New Year hangover,
Corradi has at least outscored Paul Dickov (largely because he
hasn't found the net at all), but he and Georgios Samaras have
become shorthand for City's failings.
Yet so much more was expected of an Italian international. Instead,
Corradi marked his debut with a red card. If the abiding memory of
his time at City is him 'knighting' Joey Barton after a rare goal,
it suggests his judgment is as poor as Stuart Pearce's in the
transfer market.
3. Matthew Upson (West Ham, £6 million)
Alan Curbishley appeared open-minded in January: he would consider
signing absolutely anyone. It is an inclusive policy that may yet
reap dividends if West Ham survive. That, however, will owe nothing
to Matthew Upson's contribution.
His £6 million fee works out at around £150,000 per minute on the
pitch, excluding generous wages estimated at £45,000 a week.
His two starts have amounted to 41 minutes, and Upson has twice
limped off in defeats. It that appears unfortunate, it is worth
remembering West Ham signed a player with only eight league starts
in his last 11 months at Birmingham; his fitness was not to be
assumed and he could yet swap divisions with his former club in the
summer.
2. Michael Ballack (Chelsea, free)
Chelsea expected a midfield general. They discovered that there are
anarchists who have exerted greater control than Michael Ballack.
As his depreciating goal return, unusual anonymity and sluggishness
when confronted by speedier opponents showed, this was not the
Ballack of Bayer Leverkusen, Bayern Munich or Germany.
The anticipated battle with Frank Lampard to be regarded as
Chelsea's premier attacking midfielder turned out to be
depressingly one-sided, as statistics of 21 goals to 7 indicate.
Only when eliminating Porto from the Champions League did Ballack
make the expected impact. Otherwise, for £130,000 a week, he has
proved the worst import from Germany since The Scorpions' Wind of
Change.
1. Andriy Shevchenko (Chelsea, £30.7
million)
Carlos Bocanegra 5, Andriy Shevchenko 4. The West London shootout
is being won by Fulham's American defender who, though not even a
set-piece specialist, is outscoring Britain's costliest player in
the Premiership. At Chelsea, the callow Salomon Kalou has struck
almost twice as often.
Shevchenko's occasional high-class finishes - such as his FA Cup
goal against Tottenham - only heighten the exasperation with a
player of undoubted quality. Sublime in Serie A, he has been poor
in the Premiership.
Missing the Champions League semi-final second leg, exactly the
sort of match he was signed for, hardly helped but when Jose
Mourinho referred, in his indictment of the players who had cost
Chelsea a third successive title, of those who would fail to garner
a single vote in the club's Player of the Year voting, he surely
had their biggest buy in mind.
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