Internet meeting? Internet romance? True love orrrrr???

last SG · 2001-05-07T23:43:00+00:00

My experience??? OK. I met my gf over at irc more than a yr ago and we've been together ever since. I know our relationship is one of the veri few that took...

babypink SG

Wow, Venice...that is great!! Hope your relationship with your bf can last..

At least someone has shown to us that true romance can indeed happen in the internet...

Anyone else has true encounters to share?

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It's my life....
It's now or never...
I ain't gonna live 4ever
I just want to live while I'm alive
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michiko SG

well , internet romance , i had once experienced it.... pple might think that falling in luv over the internet is crazy ,..
however , sometimes the more u dun blieve.... the more u will fall into it....

i met this guy in IRC in 1999 , after settling with my new channel in IRC , i msg pple to ask who are they or maybe who intro them to my channel ,... there he is.. one of my victims,... call him D .

we had chats almost every day n so on.....
one nite he juz told mi that he actually liked me... but i was apprehensive abt that...

after some time... without mi knowing... i actually fallen for him.. the close bond btw mi n him ..... he requested for a meeting.. but i am always bz with sch work or with my work ....

he is very caring.... the feeling was undescrible...
i dun have the courage to meet him... because i am ugly... i told him this fact that i am ugly,.. but many times in fact all the time , he will say " i dun care how u like like... nothing will change.... we willbe together for ever"

i have tried to trust those words.... the whole thing ends after we met in April 2000.
In this whole relationship he promised mi alot of things... alot n alot.... i gave him alot of encourage n help i can . worried over him....

well , the day juz came when we met....
i ponder abt this decision on meeting him ,..
suddenly felt that , if we aren;t goin to meet , we r gonna be like that forever juz on the net... nothing can work... just got my courage n agreed to meet him ,... if he is those who realli mind looks... i might as well stop this relationship , before i got into it deeper....

yeah we met..... the moment i saw him... heart juz shattered into my pieces.... first thing i told my self " He mind my looks " ...

we went for a movie... luckily i was with a friend... during the movie.. i wasn;t concentrating..... my heart was too hurt to think abt anything... felt like crying but i have managed to control it .....

i told myself... this is the first time i will see and it will be the last time...
after the movie when i went home... no more messages or any sort of chat from him .

well.... all these came true... it was what i have expected.... he mind my looks....
from that day we met... his chat with mi is kinda short... short ans ... n u can juz feel it..... he did not clarify anything with me,... or anything..... i am letting everything off.....

really hurt in the heart.... a mth later i met him i was out of town for a mth....
after i came back,.... the channel he reg for both of us is gone....

i expected that he will do the de-reg while i am not in town.... the heart realli sank....i was't not depressed... as i have givn some thoughts while i am not in sg.... that was actually a trip which helps mi to forget this sad thing....

i guess i can forgive him .... i can understand that i am ugly.... he can reject me....

something realli struck me when i saw him againz @ the airport one day after i came back to sg.....
he was walking towards my direction,.... i saw him from far but i wasn;t sure... intended to say a HELLO to him ,.well not a success to be a couple.... frens is still nice...
when he saw mi.... he turned his back n walk back to where he came from.. before i could say a HELLO to him.....

i was wondering... are my eyes playing a trick on me....was must he do that to me?am i so ugly that he has to do that?do i realli scare him off?

what i can say , it is when u give it a try will u noe the outcome , but if u wan to give it a try,.. there r risk, mustn;t be afraid to be hurt....

the hurt is still in me.. though i dun have any feelings towards him anymore...
i have forgave him.... but i can;t forgive him for not even giving a reason for leaving... a silent one is what he did....
he ran away from the reality...

i guess he is having a gd life now... n i also hope he will lead a better life n will find someone he realli treasures n never do what he did to mi to this gal....

to all guys out there.... do looks realli matter to all of you?it is a cruel fact that all guys realli mind looks..... being ugly is not what we want.... pls do think of other ppl;s feelings....

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jibun no jinsei nan darou?

[This message has been edited by michiko (edited 01 October 2001).]

iLuSioN SG

hi all..think love over the net is kinda far-fetched...esp since if the couple hasn't even met yet...have heard sweet stories of couples who met online and are still going strong even after 4 years..and also people who met up and then stopped contact later on.

Let's face it..everyone who goes online wish they are chatting to some chiobu and yandao..and are usually disappointed when the other turns out to be someone else. I am not suprised..I am one of these kind of person. However I don't judge entirely on looks..looks are juz a 10-min impression, but how you carry yourself and the way you behave tells a lot more. I know I won't be able to stand those ego-guys who are hunks yet can't speak/behave properly. I am more impressed by average guys who can actually go the extra mile to make a girl feel special. That is more important...

I met a few net friends..well, some still keep in contact while others have become the hi-bye type. I admit that I am not good-looking, that's y perhaps we are no longer in contact...well...there are many types of people in this world, juz glad that I haven't met any creeps yet...

But for now, I have retired from IRC liaoz, coz of sch work and well, sometimes it's kinda like wasting time to chat too...esp since it's always the same old thing...intro then blah blah...

Well, it ain't hard to find true love over the net, sometimes it juz takes cupid arrows to shoot both arrows at the same time... Smile

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~I dun wanna feel the way that I do~
~I juz wanna be right here with you~
Will you?

babypink SG

Dear michiko,

After after reading what you have posted...I felt sad for what you have encountered but I am glad that you have moved on with your life and did not linger on what has happened

I guess in life, if given a choice..we wld want to be pretty,rich, successful..blah blah~~~ but most of time, this is not the case and it is not your fault that you are ugly... btw, in any event I do not believe that you are ugly.... *hugz*

Like what iLuSioN has said, most of us wish to look for yandao or choibu when we are online (might not be true of course)eventhough we are not pretty or handsome in any case.... I guess it is kinda of excitement and hope when we are online coz we cant see the person face and will not know their facial expressions.....

Sometimes we cant even blame the other party who has rejected us because they do not know that they actually cant face it...they thot they can but when in actual fact they cant...and what you have shared with them in the past is forgetten.... I felt sad for them as well as they cant go past your looks!

Dont worry gal, I am sure in time to come, you will find a guy who will appreciate who you are and do not just judge you by the looks....

I am also ugly & fat but i managed to find a bf...hahahha after so many disappointment... :-) I guess life is fair in some ways.......

Rgds
BabyPink....
*hugz* *hugz*

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@[email protected]
It's my life....
It's now or never...
I ain't gonna live 4ever
I just want to live while I'm alive
@[email protected]

[This message has been edited by babypink (edited 07 May 2001).]

michiko SG

Smile while though it is really a sad experience for me ... but i felt that it was a lesson for me too Smile

I met other net frens too.... guys and gals ... some of them ,..hmm we are still in contact , like this guy i met him like a yr ago... now he is out of town.. but when ever he is back here.. we will meet for lunch or somthing like that , i have been consoling myself though... i lost one fren or maybe an almost- lover ,.. but then around me there are still pple who can accept mi for who i am ,.. n how i look ... i guess becoz of all these things these pple had done made mi boast up my confidence....

grateful to those who have met mi.... n have accepted me.... Smile

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[This message has been edited by michiko (edited 01 October 2001).]

R[3]b|rTh SG

I don’t think net love really work out. Because we let our imaginations run while and sometimes..we will think the the other party is a girl of our dreams..but when we meet up with them.. we will feel bad inside tt the ger is not the type that we like…

rendezvous4me SG

Well

The point is that girls in Singapore are a bit too cautious ... they dont wanna take unecessary risks and they are a bit particular and choosy so initially when i did actually did offer to meet up instantly most of the girls considered me a physco therefore ... now that i have leart it the hard way ... to get net friends to meet up give u re self slowly and make sure you are clear about what u want dont ask 4 a date and expect anything more ... just the DATE .. elsewhere things are a bit different so all u need to do is be a easy going .. dun give em too much importance thats all i can say !

What i look for is subjective ....

:-P

cAtAtOn|a SG

The minute when two person meets(online) n decides that they are goin to be so-called "meant for each other", its already the start of an illusive dream they're gonna work on n build. Of cuz everyone wants to have a beautiful dream, who wouldn't?
So from there on, tonnes of love and quality time is spent to flourish the relationship. Subconsciously, we'll allow all of the most beautiful things to happen to our "love" and at the same time havin the thot that he/she is also the most beautiful person... And expectations of the OUTLOOK hence increased. Despite the denial that looks does matters, somewhere within us DO mind the appearance. Juz bcuz we psychologically wants to be someone "nice', someone not judgemental, we made ourselves THINK that we wouldn't mind how he/she looks. However, (sad to say this but) truth is that, outlook does matter cuz afterall, its gonna be ur first time to see this person behind the monitor who shares ur online life. But if you're genuinely intrested to make friends with the other party, the importance of looks somehow fades after a while. If u do cherish the moments u've had with the other party, u wouldn't want to give it up juz bcuz of somethin that is less substantial.
Ask urself, why are we acceptable towards ppl of common looks in real life situation of making friends yet expectin alot more from those online?
Bcuz of mystery? or delusion? or perhaps, its jus us who placed our hopes too high up?
Be realistic, be true and never allow urself to fall into the trap of fantasizing the "perfect".

yg1983 SG

Well it might be a bit too late for sending this post but might as well do so since i am so bored early in the morning.
At the very moment, i am on irc doing nothing.

Regarding the topic on net friends and lovers... I feel that finding lovers on the internet is pretty hard unless the cupid have really shot an arrow on you. Finding friends should be a more realistic stuff. Internet lovers are just short term because teenagers find life bored and wanted to find some people to accompany them. But teenagers are just too irresponsible and don't know how to handle the stuff well. I met a couple of friends through Channel outings in irc and have made couple of friends and some true friends who share the same interest with me. In fact i will be playing basketball with some of them tomorrow. Usually the hi-bye friends you met on net are usually chatters who don't share the same kind of thinking with you. So open your eyes wide and put on your thinking cap when you are doing some internet chatting. Know who you feel are going to be your next closest friend and who are your crushes and who are those hi-bye type.

Was wondering since i am here, i suppose i should do some spamming... haha
i am the owner of #tomodachi so do support me if you happen to be free .^_^.!
Live well!!!

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Live your life well and learn to live it the way you want even if it does not turn the way it is.

WinBoi84 SG

Hello...

I wanna to give my comment of internet meeting... The following is my experience with my 1st net meeting :

I started surfing net in 1998, then i discovered the so called IRC chat and start playing it until now(Then it was not so popular as now). After about 1½ years later in Nov 1999, i finally meet my one net-friend(1st time mah, damn curious how she look like and nervous. She is a gal from my neighbourhood school. She is a good and nice girl, however our relationship had developed too fast that we just broke off in just 3 months time. But we still contact each other and it is best to be just normal friends and it's work out this way. Until now(June 2001), it's have been another 1½ years, I dare to swear to heaven that i still love her. At first, i believe in the idea of finding a gf on net, but now i had knocked the idea off my brain.

Actually, it's very good to know more friends in real life or IRC. Why not in your next meeting, treat the guy/gal as a normal friend first, then if u find out that u two r actually a item, then start the sparks... Dun rush...

Okie lah, ended liao... A bit long winded rite? Sorry hor...

KeKeKe =)
Take Care...

rendezvous4me SG

I was reading the forum from da top to the bottom .. i just wanted to add up something here .. Meeting up on and from the NET in a very subjective issue.

I have met girls who have been jerks and girls who have been really really gems of a life time .. i am sure i am gonna treasure their friendship.

As far as the issues are concerned mostly girls should choose to meet up in a more crowded place .. to avoid the guy freaking out. Otherwise if you really believe in the person its fine, there is nothing called fate or luck in meeting up a person from or on the net. Infact let me tell you that i do a lot of bagpacking and travelling to far off places .. and my idea of travelling is successful only when i make friends with someone out there and that person he/she shows me the place around.

Its suffices me in two ways first i get to see new places and culture and secondly i get to meet new and friends from all walks of life. There also has been some sick moments like for example there was this girl who was a friendly one and she used to send me one liner e-mails which i hate from the bottom of my heart, respecting her friendship i did digest that initially later i only found out that she would mail me only when she need her projects to be done ! SAD and PATHETIC. Its not that i have not helped people b4 , infact friends are the ones that help you in times of needs ... previously i have also helped 2 girls with their TOEFL.

So, likewise there are also guys who have a tendency of thinking sex and women synonymously.

PLEASE DONT BE SURPRISED IF I TOLD YOU THAT I HAVE NET FRIENDS FROM 20 TO 50 AND I AM 26 AND STILL SINGLE.

So, as i had started .. its completely subjective of how you look at net friends.

Certain things that i had deciphered in this short period are

Race wise all people are good.

The Malay girls - are a bit aggressive.
The chinese girls - are too calculative.
The Indian girls (expats) - are too lost.

The chinese guys - are good but a little flirtative
The Malay guys - are too possesive.
The Indian guys - are aggresive and kinda nasty on the Internet.

NO OFFENCE MEANT If this helps you ... !

Chiao

The thinker.

timbernood SG

finding a true love through the internet is like choosing a true love while walking blindfolded in ChinaTown...

Finding True Love... if only it was that easy

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Life is a Choice... with damn too little options

TingTing SG

Got ar... once in awhile meet up with some net friends. Just to chit chat lor...

but with some net friends, it's impossible to go out and meet up with them... well, u can say that it's kinda like... u can talk better and more comfortable with certain ppl online and not meet up lor...

if u end up being in a relationship with a net friend... then just let it flow and see wat is going to happen. Smile Have actually been kinda in love with a guy on net. Soon after, we talked on the phone... first time i found myself talking hours to a person and yet didn't think it's too long or boring or stupid... it felt good... really good... but after meeting up, things started to change... anyway, right now we still stay as friends. Smile

joanne SG

well, perhaps my turn to share my story.. i have to admit i got to noe my current bf as well as my previous bf thru the net.. the first experience was sweet initially..till we were together..he showed his true colours.. he just wanted to play me out..cos in his mind i am a pure little girl who he can take advantages on..i am not trying to gain sympathy or wat..but he is really a bastard..he filrts online everytime n meet girls n 3-time me.. i was really really shattered...my first love afterall! wat an experience... then i was utterly disgusted by net frens..although i got v gd frens who stood by me when all these happened n i noe them thru the net too... once, i wanted to overcome this fear of irc in m, so i went online..i got to noe this guy, whom really became v v gd frens with me..finally we agreed to meet..i knew that when he saw me, he was disappointed as i am not wat he pictured in his mind... well, it's fine wif me..at least thats wat he is..i do admit i once hurt a guy deeply cos i noe that he likes me alot..he's a nice guy but i didnt really liked him..we met once..i was really v v uncomfortable wif me..he felt that i had discriminated him due to his looks,...actually i dun really think so..just that i am not feeling gd.. he didnt want to be frens wif me although i tried to continue our friendship..quite sad after that as didnt expect him to be like that but dun blame him cos in hie mind i am one who hurt him lotsa..

finally, i met my current bf at a v unexpected day..i didnt want to kip in contact wif him...but somehow, we managed to kip in contact..we sms each other onli on weekends for weeks as he is a NS guy.. onli out on weekends.. for months, then we started to tok on the fone..and again, we decided to meet up on when we noe each others for months... it's kinda a v close friendship.. in my mind he's just a v nice guy.. n he is one to me till now on.. i have to admit, he's really a v v sweet bf.. the best thing is that after we got to noe each other, both of our computers are down!! no way that we can go irc anymore..n i m sure i wun filrt online with ppl n i have confidence that he wun do it too..

perhaps, love is just so weird..when u dun expect to receive it, u'll get it...

when meeting net frens, u have to be prepared for any outcomes... no all net frens are bad...n also not all net frens are as gd as u tot...

taydarren SG

Hi,

Read so many replies but most seem negative...
Is Singapore guys and Gals that bad?

I meet up with different people, found there is a mixture of people in the social,but in the practical world like sg everything is going by the dollar value or advantage.

So dun expect much of a romancer from sg guys, and dun expect the gals to appreciate what you do what them, they have the mindset of they can do themselves what why bother....so be smart in deal with Guys and Gals form sg..
overall most guys and gals from sg are not mature in the sensible way in emotions...but in the material and knowledge....This might be due to the flaw in education system that are more focus in the technical aspect of life without EQ.

Shotgun SG

Naw… we are not that bad. The thing is, DON’T MEET PPL u only know for like 2weeks.. its FOOLISH. Even some net friend that u know for ages may not be as trustable as they seem.

sunshines SG

hmm.. there are quite different experiences with people i met through chatting online.
I met with 3 guys before. Lost contact with the earlier 2 guys as quick as lightning. I believe everything changes after meeting with each other. Maybe of expectations etc. But we met.. maybe we were curious...
But for the 3rd guy.. somehow we clicked and continue emailing... and now.. after 4 yrs.. we are still an item, although we quarrel some times. Maybe I am lucky.... then..

xxSupremexx SG

For me,I go for romance.

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"Real Knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance" "The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved" "Life is a mystery to be lived,not a problem to be solved" "Life is a sucession of lessons which must be lived to understood" "It takes laughter to constitute fun"

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roof_ie SG

hey, its guys nature.. we r very flexible and we change to watever girls we hav interest in! u can’t diffentiate whether he is nice in nature or the wolf in sheep’s clothing until u spend some time with them!

n-ever SG

In my 'heydays', I must have had met well over 100 people, nothing romantic though. And I am glad to say that none were more disappointing than people whom I have got to know through the conventional ways. Meaning they were all good people. Think if you meet up with someone with expectations, it will more likely to turn out to be otherwise.

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Sobriety is not required.

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