It's been a colourful old year as
far as sport is concerned. Zidane saw red, Materazzi saw stars and
Poll saw yellow - three times.
England fans might want to erase 2006 from their minds, but before
we see the old year out, take 10 minutes to have a laugh at what
happens when sporting folk open their mouths.
SEXISM IS ALIVE AND
WELL
Newell's idea of a career woman.
"She shouldn't be here. I know that sounds sexist but I am sexist.
This is not park football, so what are women doing here? If you
start bringing in women you have big problems. It is tokenism for
the politically correct idiots."
Luton manager Mike Newell blames assistant referee Amy
Rayner for the 3-2 defeat by QPR.
"Next time I'll learn to dive maybe, but I'm not a woman."
Thierry Henry's views on Barcelona after Arsenal's
Champions League final defeat.
"There were a couple of girls shouting at me from the floor. At
first I thought they fancied me but then I worked out they were
shouting at me to miss. I don't really listen to women when they
shout at me. If I was at home with the wife I'd just go to the
bedroom and ignore her."
Peter Manley, runner-up in the PDC World Darts Championship
- and evidently living in the 1950s.
THE WARNOCK AND MOURINHO
SHOW
"He is almost a Yorkshireman with a Portuguese accent."
Warnock on Mourinho.
"My wife will be glad about Mourinho coming to Bramall Lane because
he's a good looking swine, isn't he?"
Warnock warms up for the Barclays Premiership after
Sheffield United's promotion is confirmed.
"Places like this are the soul of English football. The crowd is
magnificent, saying '**** off Mourinho' and so on.
Mourinho revels in the abuse he received from Blades fans
at Bramall Lane.
"The worst thing about playing Chelsea is having to listen to
Mourinho afterwards."
Barcelona defender Edmilson.
COMMENTATORS'
CLASSICS
"Snakes on a plane? What's that all about?"
ITV's Andy Townsend, when asked about the film Snakes on a
Plane on Talksport.
"Most managers would give their right arm for a European Cup, and
Bob Paisley had three."
Football Focus presenter Manish Bhasin.
"Scholes walks away a bit gingerly."
David Pleat after Paul Scholes had been hurt during Man
Utd's Champions League game against Celtic.
"People need to understand what kind of goldfish Wayne Rooney lives
in."
Graham Taylor on Rooney.
Commentator: "Did you ever have a lucky charm Graham?" Graham
Taylor: "Yes, my wife. But I never laid her on the
touchline."
Taylor on Stuart Pearce's daughter's toy horse, which he
had been placing on the touchline.
THE REST
"We went to watch a show - Billy Joel. Half of the foreign lads
weren't quite sure who Billy Joel was, but I enjoyed it anyway. For
the Charlton game I'll really punish them - I'll take them to see
Mamma Mia."
Portsmouth boss Harry Redknapp celebrates the 3-1 win over
Fulham in unconventional style.
"It's been harder this year, Liverpool have got better, Man U have
got better, Arsenal have got better, and Tottenham have joined the
quartet of five teams."
Chelsea's Joe Cole celebrates winning the title against Man
Utd - you do the math.
"By the time you read this we'll have had a scan on Fabregas. His
foot blew up after the game and that's not the best sign."
Arsene Wenger on Fabregas's 'explosive'
foot.
"I think they are disingenuous. Their behaviour doesn't surprise me
- they sell d***os for a living."
Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan on Birmingham owners
David Sullivan and David Gold.
"There's no problem with Jermain. I wouldn't swap him for Miss
World - he would probably swap me for Miss World though."
Martin Jol on Jermain Defoe's future.
"I'm not the biggest fan of Elvis Presley. He's all right, he gets
the job done. But he's not quite 50 Cent or Eminem."
Andy Murray disses The King.
"When I looked down the leg was lying one way and my ankle was
pointing towards Hong Kong - so I knew I was in serious
trouble."
Manchester United's Alan Smith on the horrific injury he
suffered against Liverpool in the FA Cup.
"Don't be fooled by the way I look. People say you eventually start
to grow to look like the missus but I wouldn't be that unkind to my
Sandra."
Harry Redknapp.
You wouldn't be lying to me would you
Craig?
"He says he's a Red, but they all say that when they sign, don't
they?"
Steven Gerrard is suspicious about new team-mate Craig
Bellamy's claim to be a lifelong Liverpool fan.
"He taught me a new phrase because he said he was 'over the moon'
to be back at Liverpool and I had never heard that before."
Robbie Fowler impresses new Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez
with his wide-ranging vocabulary.
"At Madrid we all kiss each other before we go out. Against
Jamaica, Aaron Lennon was waiting to replace me and as I approached
I reached forward to kiss him, but then thought 'no, better
not'."
David Beckham on the difference between English and Spanish
customs.
"I put on a video of one of his recent fights and it made my eyes
water, there were so many low blows. I want a big family so I was
straight on the phone to sort out some insurance for my meat and
two veg!"
Super featherweight Kevin Mitchell before his Commonwealth
title fight with Ghana's George Ashie. Mitchell won the contest on
points, with everything intact.
"You only have to fart in the box to concede a penalty these
days."
Leeds manager Kevin Blackwell bemoans a penalty decision
given against them.
"I have no regrets, but it is a big surprise to me because he
cancelled his contract to go abroad. Have you sold Portsmouth to a
foreign country? No."
Arsene Wenger expresses his surprise upon hearing that Sol
Campbell is poised to join Portsmouth.
