Do you constantly worry about your relationship? Do you doubt
your partner's feelings for you? Are you withholding love because
you're afraid to invest in a relationship you feel may not last? Do
you feel suspicious and anxious when your partner fails to meet
your demands?
One of the basic tenets of a healthy, loving relationship is "Thou
shalt trust thy partner". Feeling insecure about a relationship is
not a good sign; in fact, doubt and jealousy can very often kill a
relationship even without a third party.
If you're feeling difficulty in trusting your partner, ask yourself
whether you even trust yourself. Do you believe in your value? Do
you respect and love yourself? Insecurity about a relationship and
about our partner often stems from our own insecurity about
ourselves.
When we don't love ourselves, we don't believe that we deserve
love. That's why we doubt our partner's feelings for us. We think
that it's too good to be true. And so we try to validate our
suspicions. Instead of investing love into the relationship, we
make demands. We rationalize it by thinking that if our partner
truly loves us, they'll do whatever we want. But that's not love;
that's slavery.
Try imagining things the other way round. How would you feel if
your partner kept asking about your whereabouts, about your
friends, and what you're doing? How would you like it if your
partner kept doubting your feelings for them? How would you feel if
every little mistake you made them suspicious or angry? Nobody
likes someone breathing down their necks, monitoring and
questioning their every word or act.
Trust between partners is essential for a happy, healthy, lasting
relationship. But first you have to learn to trust yourself. Trust
in your own attractiveness and abilities. Trust that you're good
enough to be loved and appreciated and that your partner is not
going to run off with some hot hunk or babe the moment you're not
around.
You may not even be physically attractive in the popular sense, but
a couple stay together for much much more than just physical
attractiveness. You have to develop a healthy sense of self-worth
in your own uniqueness. There is only one You, so work on what
makes you special. Your family loves you. Your friends love you.
Your partner loves you. How could you not love yourself?
Look into the mirror today and embrace yourself. This is the only
person you'll ever be, so enjoy it. When you're happy with
yourself, it shows. Self-love is radiant and attractive. Remember,
a happy relationship requires two self-assured,
emotionally-independent, mutually-trusting partners.
