Now that I kept my word.... 
Whip Lashings
A Liverpool fan, an Arsenal fan and a Man Utd fan were all in Saudi
Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi
police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol
is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of
actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to
death! However, after many months and with the help of very good
lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down
to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their
trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they
could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly
said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to
allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Arsenal fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he
thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow
to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes
before the whip went through. The Arsenal fan had to be carried
away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was
done.
The Man Utd. fan was next up (he almost finished a half-can), and
after watching the scene, said: "Choice! Please fix two pillows on
my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the
whip went through again.
The Liverpool fan was the last one up (he had finished off the
crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him
and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your
city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the
world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Liverpool
fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is
that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are
also very brave. "The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second
wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.
"Please tie the Man Utd fan to my back."
