“...Do Women Date Naughty Guys but Marry Nice Ones?”
This notion sounds an awful lot like the irritating
good-girl/bad-girl distinction that men continue to make. Still, it
does contain a nugget of sense. Since women truly are conditioned
to be “good girls,” sometimes we feel uncomfortable with or guilty
about that pure burning “I must have him!” feeling. That's why we
sometimes seek out a bad boy to serve as the object of these
desires, says Cleveland psychotherapist Belleruth Naparstek,
creator of the Health Journeys series of guided imagery tapes. “In
order for the deliciousness of pure lust to be 'okay,' it has to be
for the symbolic bad boy who has nothing to do with the rest of
your life. With him, you can crank up your animal impulses,
worry-free,”
Being too “nice” sends a signal to
the “deep” part of the mind that tells you “this person isn't
desirable and is lower status”.
I know, this might sound kind of dark, power-hungry or weird to
you, but it's what happens with us humans.
People don't value what they can
have too easily, whether they admit it or not.
Ultimately, when women are around “nice guys”, they end up unconsciously thinking,
“This man isn't desirable, I shouldn't date or pursue this
guy”.
(Ok, there can be another reason, but I won't discuss it here
but it has to do with people who develop the “nice” persona due to
what they feel they personally lack, and thus “nice” people are
self-selecting and are actually and less confident and less
attractive.)
In the nice guys defense - they
might actually have something better to offer a woman in terms of
what she SAYS she wants (love, trust, companionship, passion), but
the women aren't able to see it - or see it as something they
want.
Why?
Women don't develop a connection to the nice guy and the
“connection” is the MAGIC ingredient for attraction with most
women.
Which leads us to the “bad
boy”!
You might not agree with me, but women DO feel that magical emotion called
ATTRACTION for “bad boys”.
Of course, I don't believe that men have to be jerks, or abuse
women in order to make them feel attracted to them.
But women have a deep attraction
mechanism that's triggered by men who behave indifferent, superior,
cocky, the list goes of “bad” behavior. You've seen it.
“Bad boys” often create inviting
and intoxicating forms of drama - often perceived as playfulness,
sexuality and fun.
When I first talk to women about the bad boy subject, they jump
ALL OVER me and completely disagree.
Then I ask them about some of the relationships they've had in
the past.
And guess what?
Most women realize in the course
of the conversation that they've dated men they knew fit the “bad
boy” profile.
What makes me laugh is that the realization makes them argue
with me even more!
So why do women date and continue
on with “bad boys”?
The answer to this question when I
ask it to women is almost UNIVERSAL.
“We had a great
connection”.
Some women call it
“chemistry”.
thank you for the input i
had found the answer to my question
girls pls read this
is it true girls feel like that
