Taken from a blog:
A man appeared at my school gate one afternoon claiming to be the
father of a student of mine. Knowing that my student (let's just
call her Lena) came from a single parent family, parents divorce,
staying with her mum, I was hesitant to let him in. Furthermore, i
had never seen her father before and this man was a total stranger.
As it was nap time for the children at that time, I had the perfect
excuse and told him to come back later while i took the opportuity
and called Lena's mum to asked whether it was alright for Lena to
see her father.
Lena's mum was shocked to hear that her ex husband was there and
said no to his request. Therefore, when that man came back, i
conveyed his ex-wife' instructions and told him no. Somehow, he
managed to call her and got her approval to see Lena.
So, i went into the class and asked Lena to come out to see her
father. But when i went into the room, I saw Lena hiding behind the
door and my colleague told me that she didn't want to see him. I
asked her again, "Lena, daddy's here. He's outside and he wants to
see you." She looked at me with sadness and fear in her eyes and
shook her head. If there was a hole behind the door, I believe that
that was the place where she would go.
I had no choice but to go out and tell that man that her daughter
does not wish to see him. He looked at me with disbelief and must
be thinking "Just now told me sleeping, than say cannot and now say
don't want to see me... Teacher, you got problem with me is
it?"
"Can i go in and see her?" he asked. I wanted to say no. Reason: I
did not like the way he talked to me, but more importantly, it was
becos Lena did not want to see this man and i wanted to respect her
wish. But i knew that he has a right to see her as he is, or
rather, was her father. So i let him in...
I opened the door to my class and peeped in. There she was at the
exact spot. "Lena, daddy's here to see you..." She looked up and
saw her dad standing behind me as i opened the door slowly. She
stood, walked up to us slowly and now, i was the only object
between her and that man. She stopped right beside me, put her head
on my tummy and suddenly, she hugged me so tightly and started
tearing. She hid her face in my tummy and just teared. Not the loud
wailing that i often get from my monkeys but just quiet tears. I
love Lena and she is one of my best students. She has always been a
quiet girl and always have a solemn face. However, I have never
ever seen her like that before. I was shocked by her reaction. Ya,
she did say that she did not want to see her dad but that man must
have did horrible horrible things in order to make a 5 yr old have
such reactions. That man turned and left upon seeing Lena's
response to him and i was glad that he did. I hugged Lena and told
her that he had left. He's gone and won't be back anymore.
This incident happened more than a week ago. But till now I still
could not get that scene out of my mind. I had been a teacher for
about 6 years, but i had never seen a child react in such a manner
to her own father before. Honestly, i feel discouraged and fear
what marriage might bring. There must be love between Lena's
parents once. Sweet innocent love. If not they would not have
started a family and have 3 children! (Lena has 2 elder bros) What
was love once had now become FEAR, HATRED, DISAPPOINTED and lots of
UNHAPPINESS. Most importantly, it's the children who get
affected.
I feel sad for Lena for having an incomplete family. Besides not
having a father's love, she lives in fear of him. She hates the
father and does not wish to even have a second look at him. Life is
really unpredictable. Someone who had loved you once is now a
monster to your children. What must a man do to hurt his family so
much? How can a man change from a loving husband to a monstrous
father? I really do not know... All I know is to hope and pray that
I will not bump into such a man. Not in my life or anybody's
life...
Not anyone i love.
No expectations, No disappointment
=====================================================
I'm not unsimilar to the author in the area of commitments. I am
especially affected by this story. That's the reason I'm afraid to
commit too... I do not have confidence in myself that I'll be a
good husband and a good father. I may be always laughing and
teasing on the outside, but deep inside I'm too, insecure.
I hope my girlfriends will not meet anyone like Lenas dad. I hope
I will not bring sadness and disappointment to anyone, too.
