Just a simple question

last SG · 2007-08-10T03:29:19+00:00

"the world is round, we'd meet again someday."

binarynwitz SG

Does anyone ever learn from their break up?

Or do they linger in their sadness, singing their lament, but never thinking about what went wrong, and learn from their mistakes?

ispyyy SG

I dont learn in a break up ....
Coz, end of the day, right and wrong is difficult to distingush ...

U can be a perfect guy for tat gal but end of the day, u will find yrself merely a thing with no feelings...

popikachu SG

Forget about ex…

binarynwitz SG

So if we do not learn from our break ups, we just treat them like a discarded trash?

How can we improve, then?

Darkness_hacker99 SG

Me no experience leh. How to learn? Rolling Eyes

ispyyy SG

By understanding, showing care and concern base on yr feelings is enough to maintain a relationship...

U do not need to purposely change what u r just to fit on some1... Coz, every change tat u make is every stress induced to u ...

ispyyy SG

take for example :

if yr ex gf left u for a rich guy,yr lesson learnt is to be a rich guy ,meh ???
cannot be wat...

Andkel SG

I constantly remind myself to control my temper. That’s what I have learn from break-ups

binarynwitz SG

A relationship involves much more than just understanding, showing care & concern, doesn't it? I didn't say to change what you are, just to fit someone.

I mean change, to improve yourself.

The lesson would be to be a better judge of character? Wink

binarynwitz SG

So if you do not have any experience, then why are you replying to this thread, much less with a seemingly sarcastic tone?

It is a question that's meant for those relevant, obviously.

Forgive me if I misinterpret, but I have no experience at guessing sarcasm over the internet.

ispyyy SG

One should improve for himself but not improve just because for relationship... Of coz, if u think tat u r in a wrong, then u can improve yrself... Like wat I say, it is difficult to distingush between right and wrong in a relationship...

For love, even if I noe the person's character is bad, I will still fall for it... Or rather, if I can go back to the past, I will still choose to be with her... Even I noe the results in the end...

Then, how abt u??? if u can go back to the past, will u still choose to be with her???

Glennyek SG

U can only learn from relationship if after the breakup, there is still communication between u and her. Then from her views, then u can gather wat went wrong. Then get a 3rd party (a close friend) to assess the feedback and your views on her feedback. Then maybe u will know wat REALLY went wrong.

Note that the close friend needs to be a friends of both parties, preferred very neutral type of friend who wont not side with u easily.

The close friend also should be someone whom have been with you while u dated her and at least went out with u both on several occasions to be able to tell who is speaking the truth and also perferrable to be present during the breakup.

COS, it never easy for anyone to realise their mistakes, even being told face to face by the one u loved... u will still want to get a second opinion... sign

Cool-gal SG

most of the time, i learnt from previous bad r/s.
but some mistakes/ habits hard to change.

ispyyy SG

lol... the third party tat u r refering will be very stress... lol

binarynwitz SG

I would.

The problem between us was miscommunication and the lack of trust. It drifted us apart. And I suppose I did not know how to handle a relationship then.

If you were to only take a step back, slowly think about what happen and look at it from a third person's point of view, you can usually pin-point what's wrong.

The only thing is whether you're clear-headed enough to do it. It's never easy, I suppose.

But whoever said life is easy?

If you know it's a mistake, shouldn't you learn from it, no matter how hard it is?

Time does nothing good to us, except give us experience. Wink

ispyyy SG

Relationship need to take two hands to clap... Relationship is never one sided...

For me :
In working life, I will learn... Try to constantly improve myself... tolerating things tat r beyond my own limit control... I can have many different personalities to handle different people...

But to find a life companionship , I prefer to be my ownself... To act on what my heart wants me to do... Even I cant find any suitable mate, I prefer to be myself alone... At least, I hold a certain percentage of my true self in my entire life...

binarynwitz SG

I never said I was the ONLY one at fault. Wink

-----
So what use is those broken relationships, if you do not learn from them? I'm not saying a total change.

Merely a subtle change. To learn to be more patient, for example.

ispyyy SG

wat use is those broken relationship ???

To enjoy bitterness, sourness of it... tat is life...
It is one of the criteria to live without regrets....
To enjoy bitterness, sourness, sweetness, hot in life... From those feelings, u will automatically understand more about yrself and more about humans... Rather to say those above as experience , I will say those as a term called
"MATURE"

binarynwitz SG

And also called improving.

Wink

Though I must say that for some, maturity does not come bungled with improvements and intelligence.

Darkness_hacker99 SG

SIanz.. you misinterpret wrongly liao..

What I meant is I really no experience lah.. Rolling Eyes