What exactly is love? Is there an absolute meaning to the word -
love? Or is it purely subjective? The concept of true love is what
we search for all our lives. Yet love is one of the most
misunderstood concepts of all. What people really want more than
anything else is to be loved unconditionally; to be accepted for
who we are, and still be loved.
Sometimes we will do some crazy things, in the name of love. Love
is actually the choice one makes to put someone's wishes, desires
and needs above our own. Many people confuse the word love with the
meaning of the word want or desire. For example, sometimes when a
young man tells the woman of his dreams, I love you, when he means
that he wants her because of his own selfish desires. He's the one
that may feel all excited over her, but in reality he may want her
because of her physical appearance, or because of her mentality or
her ability to make him feel good or important. Notice his primary
motive for pursuing her is based on himself and his desires; not on
pleasing her, although he may choose to please her, but that's only
based upon the fulfillment of his wants.
The same goes for a young woman, when she says to the man of her
dreams, I love you, she in fact means that she wants him because of
his physical appearance, status, mentality or his ability to make
her feel good or important. This usage of the word love for the
meaning of the word want is ever so present in the way we use and
abuse it. Since we are selfish creatures, and our understanding of
love is to first be pleased, look at how this word is overused. · I
love Papa John's pizza. · I just love Gone with the Wind. · I loved
Titanic. · I love Jazz Music. · I love Beethoven. · I love The
Island of Dr. Moreau.
To better understand the concept of love, lets define the value of
love. Love is the most valuable commodity in the world. We all need
love just like a fish needs water. Without love, life would not be
worth living. With love in our lives, we are empowered beyond
belief. Without love in our lives we will shrivel up and die a
slow, painful and lonely death. Love is the very essence and core
of our being. It is the energy that sustains who and what we are.
Everyone in life has a deep-rooted desire to love and be loved.
Many times people only recognize love in its emotional form. We
might hear people on television say things like, I don't love you
anymore, as they express their emotional feelings.
However, love is a lot more than what we feel. Love is a spiritual
form of energy that can be given or received in physical,
emotional, or mental forms. Love usually starts in our thoughts,
then spreads to the physical world through our actions, and then it
will produce the emotional feelings. For example, it is possible to
be angry with our spouse and force ourselves to do something nice
for them in our actions, like buying flowers. Pretty soon our
emotions kick in and after we see how happy our partner is upon
receiving the gift, our emotions will follow. Love is a spiritual
gift from a supreme force that starts mentally and finds its way to
physical expression, but the emotional feelings we call love have
very little to do with what love really is all about.
Furthermore, love can also come in healthy and unhealthy forms.
Love is an energy that can be used in a positive, healthy manner or
a negative, unhealthy manner. There is unconditional love, which is
very accepting, supporting and forgiving. There is tough love,
which is disciplined, authoritative and conforming. For example, if
a father's son were using drugs, he could unconditionally love him
and accept his destructive behavior, hoping that he doesn't
overdose and die. Or he could use tough love and put him in a
rehabilitation hospital in an attempt to save his life. So as a
result, too much tough love can be unhealthy, just like too much
unconditional love can be unhealthy.
The acceptance of love also plays a role in better understanding
the concept of love. Many times we give love to our partner the
same way we would like to receive it. But loving a person this way
might not be in their best interests. If our gift of love fails to
promote the good in the other person, they might not like it and
reject it. Other times we might expect to be loved by our partners
in the same way we were loved as children by our parents. For
example, if our parents made us feel loved by buying us things, we
might associate loving actions especially in the form of gifts,
jewelry, clothes and expensive toys. Our partner could be the most
loving, supportive, compassionate, understanding and caring person
in the world and it's possible we could overlook their loving
intentions if they didn't come from a store.
In conclusion, to love others takes effort, and in some cases this
can be very hard work. Ideally, we should also be able to love
people who we don't particularly like or find attractive. This is
not as unreasonable as it may sound, if we understand that love is
not just a feeling, but it is expressed when we do something for
another person that benefits their spiritual and emotional growth,
which in turn helps them realize their full human potential.
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