1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be
better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of
weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard
until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a
strong man you are.
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over.
Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If
she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until
morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might
be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal
improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then
when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them.
Because jewelry is for pussies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's
looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words 'fuck
you, ' and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she
thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning
tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just
kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then
drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do
something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear
"...because I can."
9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those
special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold... but not by giving her your
jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the
eye and say, "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now,
you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get
warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to
the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right
when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for
ditching you at the party.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small
pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why
shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait
10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she
goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like
basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give
her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object
she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following:
shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take
one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order
interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat.
Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her. Girls love a
spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your
smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know
what I'm talking about.
22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her
no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
23. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her
material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important
is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest
present she can ever get
do already tell me if it works...
call in the middle of the night next day kp liao LOL
