There are those who would pay a leather-clad dominatrix armed
with a whip for a discipline session in the privacy of a hotel
suite.
And there are those who would dress up in their wife's lingerie
with her approval.
In squeaky clean Singapore, it may shock some to learn that
people with fetishes are not as rare as some would like to
think.
A fetish is a form of sexual desire in which gratification is
linked to an object or part of a body, excluding sexual organs.
Because it is not mainstream, fetishes are often kept
secret.
Dr Brian Yeo, 54, consultant psychiatrist at Brian Yeo Clinic
Psychiatric Consultancy, says because fetishes are private affairs,
it makes it incredibly hard to conduct studies and research because
nobody will admit to a fetish unless they are caught.
He says: "A person with a fetish will come to us only if they
are in trouble... This is usually when they are caught for
upskirting or stealing underwear."
"Anyone can have a fetish. They get into trouble only if they
start to associate it with someone without his or her consent.
Dr Lim Boon Leng, psychiatrist at Dr BL Lim Centre for
Psychological Wellness, says: "The exact cause of fetishism is not
known but we often postulate that psychologically, the fetish
object may have been conditioned with sexual arousal.
"For example, the patient unwittingly paired the fetish object
with eroticism and learnt to be sexually aroused by that
object."
Like the man who gets sexually aroused by female hygiene
products.
While there are many who indulge in fetishes, psychiatrists
believe only a few act them out on unsuspecting victims.
Sean Chew Jun Yang, 26, was one of the people whose fetish
escalated to the point that he had to associate it to the faeces of
boys.
He drugged 13 boys over a span of three years on the pretext of
conducting an experiment for a school project as he wanted to watch
his 12- to 14-year-old victims vomiting and experiencing bouts of
diarrhoea.
DIFFERENT
Dr Yeo, who has over 20 years
of experience, says all of his patients with fetishes knew that
having a fetish made them different.
"Most of them wouldn't even seek help because there is no need
to unless there are legal obligations," he says.
He adds that the only form of restraint is to either watch
videos or buy the objects of desire online.
Some of the fetishes are just too graphic to mention here.
But Dr Yeo also says that while fulfilling their sexual desires
online may help, it may also encourage them to take it to the next
level and associate it with a person.
Fetish #1 Female hygiene products
It was one of the most extreme
cases he has handled and because he has had only one patient with
that fetish, Dr Lee, a psychiatrist in private practice, says he
cannot provide his full identity.
Doing so will lead to his patient being identified.
John (not his real name), the patient, is turned on by what he
does with female hygiene products.
John buys them online and uses them for sexual
gratification.
Dr Lee, who has over 20 years of experience, has treated only a
handful of patients with fetishes - not because they are rare but
because most of them are not harmful to other people.
While many would find John's behaviour strange and even
disgusting, Dr Lee says: "As long as he doesn't harm a third party
in the process, it is fine."
Dr Lee adds that not many people who have fetishes cross the
line from fantasy to reality, but sometimes just watching
pornographic material online will still not satisfy them.
While many may think John's fetish is rare, Dr Lee says the
evidence online suggests otherwise. There are countless websites
that sell hygiene products and used underwear.
For John, Dr Lee says it is just like how "people have
preferences for different things". His just happened to be hygiene
products.
Fetish #2 Cross-dressing
He used to wear his wife's
lingerie and stockings for sexual gratification when she was not at
home.
But one evening, his wife arrived home early and caught him
checking himself out in the mirror in her underwear.
Instead of questioning him and throwing him out, she embraced
his fetish and even allowed him to continue cross-dressing.
Psychiatrist Dr Lee says this couple's relationship grew
stronger after the wife found out about his transvestic fetish.
Transvestic fetishism is the sexual arousal by clothing worn by
the opposite sex. In most cases, this involves a male who is
aroused by wearing, fondling or seeing female clothing.
Dr Lee says it is also uncommon for people to see psychiatrists
because technically there is "nothing to cure".
He says: "For fetishes of this sort, wives and girlfriends
usually accept it and allow them to live with it because it's not
like they are cheating on them with another woman."
Fetish #3 Lingerie
Max (not his real name) had a fetish for lingerie. At first, he
bought underwear from lingerie shops.
But then he felt he needed to associate the underwear with an
actual person who wore it - he wanted used ones.
So he started stealing them from his neighbours and was
eventually caught.
Max was a patient of Dr Brian Yeo. Dr Yeo says taking upskirt
photos and sniffing soiled underwear remain two of the most common
fetishes in Singapore.
He sees about two to three patients with fetishes yearly.
All of them were caught for either taking upskirt photos of
women or stealing their underwear.
- The New Paper Online