For more than 47 years, Mohamad Fahmi Ahmad Rais thought he was a
Malay.
His parents were Malay. He had a Malay name. His Singapore identity
card stated he was a Malay.
And although he was teased over the years for looking like a
Chinese, he brushed it off.
In his later years, he even embraced it, saying he was "a
politically correct Singapore citizen because I am a Malay who look
like a Chinese and married to an Indian".
Then, a month before his 48th birthday, Mr Fahmi found out he was
adopted and actually a Chinese.
"After 48 years of living as a Malay and championing the community
cause, in one single night, I am now a Chinese," the father of four
wrote on his
blog.
"After 48 years, I now need to find who I really am."
The discovery
He made the life-changing discovery last Saturday (Nov 14) "when I
visited my only living grandmother and in a casual conversation
asked her if indeed I am adopted", he wrote on his blog on Tuesday
(Nov 17).
Mr Fahmi, who has four children, said he expected her to dismiss
the matter, and was shocked when she did otherwise.
"In short, I am lost. The last 3 days I stared at myself a little
longer when I looked into the mirror. That is because I see a
stranger in it," he wrote.
My Fahmi's adoptive father died in 1987 and his adoptive mother, in
1994.
"And the next 21 years that follow, everyone with information of
who I really am did not share with me that information. It was
probably the best kept family secret (sic)," he wrote.
He added: "My parents have their reasons and that I respect. But
for the others who knew and kept it that way and claiming to do so
out of love, that I cannot understand. I bear no grudges, just
disappointment. (sic)"
Adoption is not an alien concept to Mr Fahmi. His second daughter
is adopted.
"I love her like my own. And though I have taken the liberty to
change her birth certificate for convenience purposes, I did not
hide the truth about who her real parents are. I want her to grow
up loving me as her father, like her own real father. I do not want
the love to be based on a lie," he wrote.
Mr Fahmi was a Singaporeans First candidate for Tanjong Pagar GRC
in the 2015 general election.
During a party rally, he touched on the issue of the wearing of
tudungs not being allowed in uniformed service and other
sectors.
He is now on a mission to reunite with his biological siblings.
"They are not a party to the decision that my biological parents
made when they decided to give or sell me away," he wrote.
He has posted his story on his blog and on a Facebook page called
Roots Seeker in the hope of finding clues to his identity.
TNP