SINGAPORE : Many Singaporeans are for the idea of
adoption, but only if they have no choice.
These are the findings of a survey by the National
University of Singapore.
The study was conducted on 1,200 people aged 18 to 60, by the
Department of Social Work at the NUS.
40-year-old Chang Chee Siah describes her seven-year-old adopted
daughter, Olivia, as blessing to the family.
She decided to adopt after trying for a baby for about four
years.
Chang Chee Siah, mother of adopted child, says: "We had decided we
didn't want to have any kids and there was just one gathering where
we met with some friends, one of our couple friends actually
adopted."
About two weeks later, they brought two-and-a-half month old baby
Olivia from Jakarta to Singapore.
Madam Chang went on to give birth to a daughter and a son.
She is among a small pool of Singaporeans who turn to adoption to
build a family.
This mirrors the findings of a survey in March and April this year
by two researchers.
The benchmark study aims to understand the attitudes, beliefs,
perceptions and opinions towards adoption held by
Singaporeans.
While the majority has positive attitudes towards adoption, only 14
per cent seriously considered the option.
More than half felt adoption was not as good as having one's own
child.
Close to 70 per cent feel adopted children should not be told about
this - and should be told the truth when they're at least 16 years
old.
The study also found that more than 70 per cent of the respondents
thought that it's not wise for adoptive parents to tell the child
about their status.
But experts say this is unhealthy.
It's best to "tell all" when the children are very young.
Dr Jayashree Mohanty, principal Investigator, from NUS' Department
of Social Work , says: "It helps them to have more good
psychological wellbeing, otherwise,) once the children become
adults, 16 or 18 or 21.
"If their parents disclose their adoption identity, that means
during their adult age they might go through psychological
problems. For example identity crisis, low sense of identity and
confusion about their own self, anxiety, all those things."
Dr Mohanty says adopted kids should be told when they're about four
or five years old.
For Mdm Chang, secrecy was never an option.
She says: "I think the thing that really nailed it for me was just
hearing stories where the kids are older, they found out in their
late teens or in their 20s. And when the parents were trying to
reconnect with their child and saying "We're sorry, it's for your
good, we didn't know how to say, we didn't know how to tell you.
But the child comes out and say "you didn't tell me, why should I
tell you now?"
Which is why before Olivia turned two, Mdm Chang started talk to
her about her parentage.
"Since young, she knew she's got two sets of parents. And as she
grows older, now we're telling her this is your tummy mummy and
forever mummy...Your Indonesian mummy carried you in your tummy,
but I carry you in my heart and that's kind of how we talk about
adoption."
While it was tricky, Mdm Chang never felt better.
"I can talk about it so openly, I can share. Adoption of Olivia was
such a joyful experience, and if I couldn't share that joy, it's
almost like a shameful thing and I didn't want that then to be
attached to her, that she's not good enough."
However, many surveyed hold negative attitudes towards parents who
place their children for adoption.
The study's other researcher, Dr Srinivasan Chokkanathan from
Temasek Polytechnic's Gerontological Management Studies elaborates:
"The public thinks that biological mothers and biological fathers
who place their children for adoption are selfish, they're careless
and totally irresponsible.
It might perhaps have to do with Asian values towards family
formation. Once you give birth to a child, it's up to parents to
take care of them and it's totally unethical or even unthinkable
for the parents to place their child for adoption."
But he points out that there are other sides to a story.
"But what the parents or what the public do not know or think about
is that the emotional trauma the biological parents or the mother
has to undergo in order to place the up child for adoption. So it's
not like a straightforward process."
The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports says
adoptions in Singapore hovered around 400 over the last three years
but this number is expected to grow.
2009, there were 419 cases, down from the 445 in 2008.
In 2007, the number was 407. More than half, or 55 per cent, were
foreign children.
Dr Chokkanathan explains: "Given the low fertility rates and an
even lower marriage rates, and then also an addition to these two
problems, even those who marry, they marry at a later stage in
life. So, adoption might play a very crucial role in family
formation."
They hope the findings of this study can help the relevant agencies
formulate appropriate policies, services and intervention
programmes.
This, as information on this topic is very limited.
So researchers hope Voluntary Welfare Organisations and
governmental organisations can sensitise the public on child
adoption.
For a start, the researchers will be conducting a mini survey on
about 200 professionals from next month.
The survey, which is expected to take two to three months, will
form the basis for workshops that they plan to organise in
future.
- CNA/jy